Emotions I've Never Felt!!

[Tiger]

People talk about a huge range of different emotions that they have felt, but is there anyone who realises that maybe there are some that they have never felt?? If you have never felt a certain emotion and then one day it just engulfed your whole being, but you couldn't recognise it? Maybe we managed to switch it off and have lost the ability to turn it back on? Are all emotions useful? Could it just be denial? I apologise for all the questions, I need to understand why I feel that I lack in feeling certain emotions and if it's 'normal' or if I have something missing from my life or have these feelings disappeared as a form of self-preservation? Please help? I am very concerned about this!!:bag:

 

[franciemarnie]

For sure my feelings were blocked or numb for decades. Then with they began rearing their strange little heads, I self medicated them away, which I don't advise of course.

Once off all meds, it took me a long time to understand I was feeling certain emotions like sadness, for instance. It was terrifying and overwhelming. (It felt huge and alien and scary too because I couldn't afford the luxury of that emotion as a child). I wanted to get out of my body stat! But I wanted to heal more than I wanted out finally.

I am better at feeling sadness re current events, like if someone I care for is in trouble and it isn't related to the past.

But if the sadness is coming from out of my childhood especially, sadness I never felt, it feels different - overwhelming and like I won't be able to contain it or process it. But I can contain it without exploding and I can get it out if I am patient and open to feeling the feeling. Music helps. Also just doing a mindful meditation with how my body feels head to toe.

My body tells me before my mind. When my heart races around like a car on a circular racing track and my feet really hurt, I know I am sad and I try to be gentle in feeling it and not freak out.

A new thing I get, which is not a good feeling, is my hands feel very weak when I wake. There is nothing physically wrong with them. It is my body telling me I feel overwhelmed and not capable of "handling" what's going in in my life. (My husband just suffered heart damage and was hospitalized, which was frightening.)

Though I don't like the feeling of weak hands, my body is telling me I feel overwhelmed and I can use that info to take action so I don't feel so helpless.

It is normal to be overwhelmed with unidentifiable feelings in PTSD. At least, that is what I have learned and experienced.

The feelings come when some part of you knows you are safe enough to feel. That's the good news. The not so good is it can be baffling and hurt.

Listen to the body. The body remembers.

 

[greenleaf]

@Tiger -- I think there are a ton of posts here on related topics, though everyone's wording is a little different. Lots of people who never got supportive teaching about their emotions as kids have many issues with this; then, often the issues of the childhood emotions related to abuse having been extremely strong is added on, so the whole thing feels even harder and scarier. A trauma therapist can really help with this! This stuff seems incredibly common with childhood trauma.

Feeling safer and more relaxed with mild feelings is where I started many years ago, I think. Just getting to more strong ones these days... took a very long time... but therapists' knowledge about this stuff seems better now too, which is great. (Be sure to get a good one!)

 

[Friday]

I dot know that all emotions are useful.

Jealousy sucks, for example. Not particularly keen on betrayal, either.

But if the inverse means also not feeling love or trust?
Then I'll put up with jealousy & betrayal.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am not sure I understand the question but looking below might help you at the 'similar threads'?

 

[Tiger]

Thanks!! :(:wideeyed::cautious::notworthy: I guess what i'm trying to say is that I don't recognise a few of the emotions a lot of people has spoken about!! I don't think I have actually ever experienced them!! Maybe they've switched off, but somehow I believe that I've never developed these feelings!! In situations I have been in, in the past, such as time of the abuse and trying to deal with the fall out when my world exploded in my face, I haven't been equipt with some emotions at all!! I know it all sounds bizarre, I am so daft to have posted this!! I just thought I'd try to find anyone else who may have been where I am?? I'm so sorry if this is all mixed up and confused, i'm overwhelmed with the emotions that do possess me!!

 

[digger]

Can you be more specific @Tiger - can you give examples of the types of emotion you think you are missing that you think other people have, or would have in your situation? Is there a specific relationship you feel this is affecting? Or is it relationships generally?

I think a lot of us have difficulty naming our emotions (I know I do) and also there are a lot of people who feel 'switched off' emotionally, ie. they can't feel what they think they should be feeling. Is this what you mean?

 

[Tiger]

I don't have any close relationships in my life at all now!! In the past I've been with someone, but they felt that I didn't show any possessiveness or jealousy when they were out and about with other people!! apparently, I was supposed to show some sort of emotion!! I feel that if someone wants to be with someone else I am not going to try stop them what so ever, that's their choice, their right and when they go, I don't hurt, I don't miss them, I carry on as if I had never met them, without consciously doing so!! I don't avoid relationships, but I find life so much easier without them! I like having my own space and I don't have a desire to have a personal relationship at all!! None what so ever!! And I know that a lot of people find it strange not to need or want any kind of personal relationship!! I also don't let anyone into my personal space, no one ever!! I don't do affection, I just don't feel it! I haven't let anybody in on my life for several years and it's fine!! I don't need it!! I honestly don't!! (That's only a couple of examples of my lack of emotions, I could go on!! That would just bore you all to tears, so I won't!!)

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I can relate! It is easier to go through life not being close to someone and losing them, than it is to risk caring and loving, and getting hurt!

I had 4 marriages (last one ended 20 years ago) and had a special needs child who passed away at 11 years old. Loss is SO very painful!

There is also pain, that we may not realize is there, in having no one, and going through everything alone. Recently, my heart has opened up. Not to a relationship, I won't return to marriage folly. But, loving and caring for people can bring rewards.

I no longer feel alone, and that is an AWESOME feeling! I DO BELIEVE I have learned enough about people to be able to 'read' them, and know if they have the capacity to hurt me. I don't completely 'let go' of my emotions until I am sure. It is not about the opposite sex at all. It's about having love, and giving love. For me, the opposite sex, (I am female) confuses everything. I will stick to people, as family and friends!

I wish you the best of luck. Maybe you can learn to open up a little at a time and find FRIENDS and not a partner.

 

[Fadeaway]

I have had emotions in dreams that I have never had while awake. I have also seen emotions on peoples faces that I have never experienced. Most of them are positive emotions and I look at their face and it fills me with longing. I say to my self "I want to feel what ever it is that makes the look like that."

 

[katz]

I don't know if this will help--but I had a therapist ask me how something felt and I couldn't find the right words. Especially since my memories are all from childhood. I think the problem that I had was that I was too young at the time to describe them with words, so they are just stored as "feelings". I have a picture file on my phone/computer of young children with different expressions. I can often show these to my therapist and she can understand what I'm feeling. Then she can help me find the right adult word.
I have also just stopped and had to wait for the 'adult" me to find the right word to describe the "child me" inside. To 'translate", so to speak.
Some times the 'word' is not in existence and I can just imagine a sentence to tell her. But, my favorite way is with pictures.

I also use walking to get away and let myself feel. The exercise helps me keep control and lets me release any feelings inside that don't have words. I also grew up singing. it is a safe way to let yourself cry or laugh if you need to release.

 

[Tiger]

Thanks!!