End Of Psychologist Sessions

[Hen]

I have had the reqnuired 12 NHS sessions with the psychologist and she is going to do a couple more to finish things. I am only just openeing the can of worms and a bit concerned now she has opened the can what I am supposed to do.

Can anyone give me ideas of the sort of things I should be asking and working on over the last two sessions. I am worried as she has got me to let my anger out without being drunk, I now can manage not to get drunk lots, but it worries me i have no skills in managing let alone recognising emotions.

It has been good as I have reduced nightmares and can manage flashbacks but I am just so worried that i will end up just shoving everything back inthe cupboard so i can carry on managing day to day.

Any advice, hints tips etc greatly appreciated. I also cannot afford to pay for private work so the next two weeks will truly be my last.

 

[PerfectEmpire]

Start by making a list of your questions and concerns, including what you just brought up. Then organize it from greatest to least priority. When you go for your next session first bring up that you are worried as you described above. Then go through the list as well as you can, getting done as much as you have time for (that is why prioritization is important). It would also be good to leave from your last session with a solid emergency plan.

 

[Manic11]

I agree with what PerfectEmpire said.
If you go through beforehand what you would like to talk to her about and write it all down so nothing is forgotten than you won't feel as if you missed anything.
However, if you still feel like you missed something or there's still more you would like to talk about, think and write down who there is you can talk to. Is there a friend or loved one you can talk to about this? Would writing it out in a letter or diary help? Would this forum help answer your questions? Do you have a hotline you can call if you need to talk?
Don't be afraid to express how you feel about this to your therapist and tell her what you told us. Ask for techniques you can do on your own to handle your emotions so that you don't go back to your old habits. Research techniques, talk to us about it on the forum, etc. You can do this.

Wish you the best.
Manic

 

[skyp56]

What great advice that PerfectEmpire had!

I think making a list, with clear priorities, is very important, so that the sessions you have left will be put to best use.

Her advice on asking what to do for emergency situations is very sound, as well.

And yes, this forum is good, for everyday stuff. Someone is always here for a sounding board for you.

Keep up the good work!

skyp56

 

[Jestadud]

Hi Hen
Well done for getting through your cbt sessions you have obviously taken loads of stuff onboard so that you both can see that the time is aproaching for you to set out on your own.

When I was in the same position I can remember how daunting the prospect of being without regular meetings seemed and how I would be losing a friend for that was what my therapist had become, in fact she was my best friend regarding my ptsd.

What I did was take a sheet of paper in with me and we wrote down together all the things I had learnt which were my weapons against ptsd (yes I made a list).

I see what you say about the "required 12 NHS sessions" and I'm sure it was around that number when I started thinking that these sessions cant go on much longer. But I don't think they just chuck you out because the time has run out I'm sure it's when they feel they have your score down to a level you can live with. My wife works in a doctors surgery and I remember her asking me how many more sessions I was going to be having I told her I didn't know and asked if it seemed a lot she reckoned 4 to 6 was the more usual amount!

Expect to have setbacks but recognise thats all they are setbacks or "bad days".

You can cope on your own. But you have people here when you think you can't.

Jesta

 

[onebravegirl]

:smile:It can be very frightening when you know that the support you have relied on has an ending. If you are not feeling physically safe, you must tell your therapist that. If you think that you are OK and just worried about forgetting the skills you have learned, ask the therapist to review what you have learned. Make notes is you need too. If your therapist thinks you are strong enough to stand on your own so to speak, try. At least try. See if there is any emergency support available if need be as well.
And do not forget this place! We are here for you!
O

 

[Pam]

In the book, "The Explosive Child", parents are directed to make two lists. One is health and safety issues, the other is for issues that do not have immediate health and safety concerns. I have done this with my own explosive child (now an adult and doing okay) and it helped me out tremendously. The only drawback is that sometimes, a non-health and safety issue is the underlying trigger for health and safety issues. So for me, it was wise to consider connections between the two lists. Occasionally, solving one of the non-health and safety issues took care of an explosive issue without dealing with it directly.

 

[Nicky31]

Hello Hen,

I understand how scary this must be for you. I have just had my penultimate session of therapy also and worry about what lies ahead and where my support will come from.

I'm guessing that your therapist has worked mainly on your PTSD and your alcohol has come secondary due to it being a coping strategy? I'm also in the UK and wonder if you have made contact with the Community Alcohol Service in your local area? They might be able to help and support you tackling your drinking problem.

In my final session I know that my therapist and I will be drawing (literally) and telling the story of my journey and going into the future on where I hope to be. It might be worth looking at a timeline of yourself too if you haven't done this.

There is also a charity based in Warwickshire that speciallises in PTSD who can provide support. They are called ASSIST. I spoke to them this week as I am trying to come up with backup plans for when I'm flying solo. Also remember that Samaritans are still the only 24 hour, confidential and non-judgemental phoneline available here. You can call them whenever you like, their number is 08457 909090.

I really hope your last sessions go ok, and that your therapist will prvide you with some further guidance on taking care of yourself.

Nic

 

[Hen]

Thanks everyone. I made a list as suggested and we talked loads but I feel I need monthly for a bit. I am having a review mid feb but I am on my own now. I had a copy of the letter she wrote to the gp and she still rates my symptoms as severe but as i can't afford private and I have had what the NHS can offer. that's it. I have bought a few recommended books but it is not going well. I am trying hard but feel completely lost, some of the techniques she taught me are good but I see myself going downhill again which is a worry.

I am finding triggers I didn't even know I had, we worked through the ones I knew about and I am finding life and emotions so hard. What is worse is I know now one of the things triggering me is my husbands short temper (he just shouts) and I had no idea that this set me off till I had dealt with some of the other triggers. There is nothing I can do about this and he s not a touchy feely talking person. He loves me so much but itis back to the stage i want to drink when I get home. I am much better, I only drank twice last week.

I am hypervigilant as to his moods and this relates back to my worrying about coming home when I was younger and having to gauge my fathers mood and I would love some advice as to how to get over this bit.

Thank you everyone for being so wonderful.

 

[helena]

Hi Hen,

I know from previous posts you work for a LA?

If the NHS therapy has expired, can't you get free therapy via your employer?

Most LA's (for legal reasons) provide free counselling services for their employees that are completely confidential.

Your line manager is duty bound not to reveal any information you give him/her so confidentiality is protected.

In relation to the question about your husband, can he tell you why he gets short tempered and is it only directed at you when it appears that you have been drinking? Someone told me that often sufferers drink not to necessarily stop pain or memories, but to actually feel.

I never realised that before but it helps me understand why my bf drinks heavily at times - he has repressed so much emotion (out of necessity) that it is the only way he can access love, hate, compassion, anger.

The fact that you only needed to drink twice last week is an amazing achievement - you should be congratulating yourself. I know from reading your posts that you are so hard on yourself but you do an incredibly difficult and important job, you are coping with ptsd and dealing with alcohol issues.

Most people would not be able to get up and go to work each day...

To know why your husband becomes frustrated may help you to challenge him. If you are not falling down drunk or a danger to yourself or him then you may need to say that this is a temporary fix to a long standing problem. That you are not an alcoholic but that sometimes you need to drink to access emotions that are buried within you and ask him why the drinking 'triggers' his reaction (if that is the case)

I hate my bf coming home drunk - hate it so I am not advocating alcohol abuse. However, I have learnt that it is a coping mechanism and I can tolerate it as long as it stays controllable (I know ex.alcoholics will disagree with me on that but I kind of go along with Anthony's explanation of ptsd and alcohol) and, quite frankly, ptsd is too big a condition for anyone else to judge.


Hope this helps

Helena

 

[Hen]

Thanks helena. He doesn't respond to me in an angry way for a specific reason he just gets angry over other things ie bad day at work or the laptop crashes and this is what triggers me.

I looked at what support was available through work and it is rubbish. I work for the probation service.

I also find that alcohol was the only way emotion came out as it was never safe for me to express emotion as a child. The only emotion I have discovered sober is anger so far, I am trying to work out what the other emotions are and feel like, which is quite hard without help.

For me alcohol is a release from me and my brain, it shuts my brain down and I can relax. It is the only way I can chill and sleep and not have thoughts in my head. I feel free when I drink.

 

[Hen]

Also what just is in my mind the whole time is something unrelated and I can't work out why I have got so obsessive. I was on self destruct a few years back and threw my husband out. His behaviour wasn't great but neither was mine and i killed anything close to me. We lived apart for a year and then got back together and now it is better. he thought it was over and had met someone new. When we got back together he saw both of us of about 8 weeks. he was happy with her and although he has no contact with her now it is not something I can get over. It's not the dule dating but he found someone else. This is killing me and i don't know why. I hate her, she works in the local pub and was a huge bunny boiler and we had problems with her after but I am not sure why I find myself being triggered everytime i see a car like hers. I don't ge what she has to do with my abusive childhoood.

has anyone else has this?