The love of my life held my hand and stroked my fingers and played with my hair while we watched a movie together and cuddled on the couch. We had been discussing a holiday we planned to take together earlier that day. We went to bed that night and cuddled as usual and slept.
In the morning, he couldn't decide how many eggs he wanted and couldn't decide over tea or coffee. That is unlike him and I didn't recognise the signs. He wanted to go for a bike ride and I had to quickly get ready otherwise he was going to leave without me. It threatened to rain and he blamed me for that.
He was steering and managing his bike in a jerky, irritated manner. On the way home he stopped and made me get off and yelled at me "how much do you WEIGH?" I just looked at him blankly and suddenly realised another episode has fully reared its ugly head. He wasn't asking me how much I weighed, he was telling me our relationship is over.
My heat sank as I got back on the bike and he was acting like I was an unwelcomed hitchhiker and couldn't get home fast enough to get me off. When we arrived home, he stormed around the house, bashing things and slamming doors and then he went out.
I left and he didn't talk to me for 2 days. When I asked him what was the matter he said I must stop harrassing him (I asked twice) and that I was too fat and he can't be with me any longer. I realised the pattern of him slotting me out of his life and simply slotting another woman in had taken place again. I yelled abuse and sent him 100 abusive text messages. I have been pushed way too far and just completely lost it. That was really wrong of me I know.
He's been doing the whole breaking up and going off with other women but coming back to me for 5 years. I only caught on about 1 year ago and left him. He begged and begged me to come back this year and I went back and he tried so so hard to make things 'normal' but I could see his struggle day to day. What is scary is the sudden way he 'turns' on me and treats me like he doesn't even know who I am. Once he even threatened to call the police on me for trespassing. I was on the footpath outside. I then realised that I was dealing with something that was bigger than us.
Anyway that was a week ago. I have been moping around for the last week crying and wondering why this had to happen to the man I love. I have been so so so angry at the insane things he says and does to me. But his infidelity is a deal breaker. I don't care if he has committment issues relating to PTSD or not. I simply cannot cope with it any longer.
The weird thing is I know he loves me and I love him back just as much. Everyone is baffled by that and quite frankly so am I. His brother told me to move on so I am doing just that, as hard as it is. I just wanted to vent and I like this forum - makes it easier knowing you are not alone with this. I send my love and prayers out to everyone who is having a hard time with a loved one. We need to take care of ourselves too!!!
xx
In the morning, he couldn't decide how many eggs he wanted and couldn't decide over tea or coffee. That is unlike him and I didn't recognise the signs. He wanted to go for a bike ride and I had to quickly get ready otherwise he was going to leave without me. It threatened to rain and he blamed me for that.
He was steering and managing his bike in a jerky, irritated manner. On the way home he stopped and made me get off and yelled at me "how much do you WEIGH?" I just looked at him blankly and suddenly realised another episode has fully reared its ugly head. He wasn't asking me how much I weighed, he was telling me our relationship is over.
My heat sank as I got back on the bike and he was acting like I was an unwelcomed hitchhiker and couldn't get home fast enough to get me off. When we arrived home, he stormed around the house, bashing things and slamming doors and then he went out.
I left and he didn't talk to me for 2 days. When I asked him what was the matter he said I must stop harrassing him (I asked twice) and that I was too fat and he can't be with me any longer. I realised the pattern of him slotting me out of his life and simply slotting another woman in had taken place again. I yelled abuse and sent him 100 abusive text messages. I have been pushed way too far and just completely lost it. That was really wrong of me I know.
He's been doing the whole breaking up and going off with other women but coming back to me for 5 years. I only caught on about 1 year ago and left him. He begged and begged me to come back this year and I went back and he tried so so hard to make things 'normal' but I could see his struggle day to day. What is scary is the sudden way he 'turns' on me and treats me like he doesn't even know who I am. Once he even threatened to call the police on me for trespassing. I was on the footpath outside. I then realised that I was dealing with something that was bigger than us.
Anyway that was a week ago. I have been moping around for the last week crying and wondering why this had to happen to the man I love. I have been so so so angry at the insane things he says and does to me. But his infidelity is a deal breaker. I don't care if he has committment issues relating to PTSD or not. I simply cannot cope with it any longer.
The weird thing is I know he loves me and I love him back just as much. Everyone is baffled by that and quite frankly so am I. His brother told me to move on so I am doing just that, as hard as it is. I just wanted to vent and I like this forum - makes it easier knowing you are not alone with this. I send my love and prayers out to everyone who is having a hard time with a loved one. We need to take care of ourselves too!!!
xx
