Erectile Dysfunction

[mp2277]

I am being pretty brave here and putting myself out there. I have (among other PTSD symptoms) ED. My situation is a little different in that I am a gay man, but parts is parts right LOL.

Although it has been nearly 30 years ago, I can go to the time and place where a traumatic and fear inducing event happened while I was having sex with a woman. Yes, that was a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away when I was trying to be straight. Anyway, beginning then, at that moment, because it had never happened before, I had such anxiety related to having sex with a woman that I had extreme difficulty maintaining an erection. I say maintaining because achieving is not the problem. And I know 100% it is fear based trauma related and not physical.

And let me answer the obvious question before you ask, no this has nothing to do with me being gay. I have been gay from my earliest memories, but family and of course church instilled in me a sincere belief that I could make my self straight.

I have had remarkable success with my freeze up issues and have learned much about overcoming my PTSD symptoms so now I feel it it time to tackle this one. I am considering hypnosis. ED drugs, both prescription and OTC work very well. However I can be as hard as a rock and within seconds of entering I go limp. It is beyond frustrating.

Please, I am very interested in your thought especially as they pertain to any success or victory stories you have had or know of. Please also feel free to share your struggles because if you follow this thread you may get some help too.

Thanks!

 

[joeylittle]

I'm a chick, so different issues - but have you tried doing any of the techniques you use for general physical 'freeze' responses while masturbating with the sex toy of your choice? It seems to me that working just on your own, without the pressure of having a partner there, could help you start to re-write your physiological response to the trauma memory.

 

[Fadeaway]

Another female here. Straight even. My heart broke when I read this. The fact that you felt the need to point that it is not because your gay and thought that would be the obvious question makes me sad. I believe you when you say that your sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. I am sorry you suffered at the hands of ignorant people.

You are brave by writing this, but I also think you will find plenty of people here who will see the issue for exactly what it is, a trauma issue, without even thinking it has to do with you being gay.

That said, obviously there is little advice I can offer as a woman, but I have watched my husband suffer from the same issue as the result of his sexually abusive ex. I know how frustrating it is for him. Humor and less focus on orgasm and intercourse and more focus on other physical pleasures seem to help.

 

[Gs172003]

My husband had it at one point due to a porn addiction. He could only function with porn and not with a real person. Not sure if that's you just throwing that out there.

 

[mp2277]

Thanks all for your responses. I will update this periodically and I sincerely appreciate your supportive comments :)