Dom Violence Escalating Violence

[macbeth]

The violence towrds me was common place. I just got used to it, however, towards the end of my marriage the violence went up a notch towards deadly. I was just wondering if anyone else experienced an increase in the nature or severity of the violence?

 

[fly away home]

Yes, as a child things most definitely escalated over the years. To the point of extreme.

In a past relationship of mine things also began fine but progressed into violence which became more frequent and more dangerous over time.

Sadly I think it's often how things go.

I'm sorry @macbeth . It's life altering.

 

[Meadowsweet]

@macbeth. Yes, in a word.

He went stright into punches, without the wrestling or pushing me down first - but I would just crouch down for him anyway. But, it was more than that, like he moved onto doing things like locking the door so I couldn't get out, and being more sadistic in other ways. But it was the 'reasons' for abuse that frightened me enough to leave.

I think we do get used to it, or we numb it out, make excuses and think we can change it. And sometimes maybe something has to change to get that wake up call that the risk of leaving is the better option.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It really breaks your spirit and self esteem down hard. My daughter has two restraining orders against her ex and he had to go to jail for thirty days and start all kinds of classes like anger management. Sometimes I get thoughts that he will come over here and kill us all. Scary, I am aware. But so far in spite of all the head games he has played over the past year, he has stayed away and left us alone. I wish you the best. He just beat her one night when she was sleeping. She got out and brought the kids with her and we told her to go to the police. He is a very brutal man with no remorse and he denies everything to the end. I believe lies are his first language.

 

[Fadeaway]

Absolutely. The level of violence from the first incident to the last are worlds apart. Things dramatically increased in severity. Started using objects instead of his body. Breaking dishes to use them to cut me.

 

[macbeth]

That's what happened to me to @Fadeaway

 

[Wolvescry]

At the end of my old relationship my ex almost killed me at least 2 times. I remember looking into his eyes with such sadness and betrayal, he just had a blank look, then I looked up to the ceiling thinking this was it. But he never took it that far. I look back now and it makes no sense that I would stay with someone who was capable of that. To be honest it was the cheating that finally caused me to leave. Isn't that so odd? At least we were strong enough to leave and heal.

 

[desiderata310]

It started with name calling and shoving. It moved into slapping and rough sex. From there it would escalate and then die down a bit and escalate and get a bit worse. It was almost lethal before I left.

 

[didithappen]

Towards the end my ex's violence grew, she would raise her fist or grab something, she has grabbed a claw hammer before, she had me cornered many times.

But she stepped up her mental abuse daily. She would wake me after 5 or 6 hours when I had taken sleeping tablets, question me and have "brainwashing" sessions, convincing me I suffered D.I.D.(Multiple personality), she would regularly suggest I signed myself in to a mental hospital as the "best thing for all of us", and in conversation said this (I taped it)

"If you didn't have us in your life daily, if you could not see our son, I know it would tear you apart, it would not be worth going on, make me that promise"

At the moment I am battling through family court, she ran off with our son, and is claiming I am the abusive partner.

Why do people do this to those they claim to love? Considering I would never do it to someone I hate.

There was one argument, my wife tried to punch me, I went to the spare room, she chased me, and had me cornered, I was on the floor in tears, she was towering above me. Later she tried to explain it away, saying I over reacted.