Heather
Diamond Member
I've had flashbacks before but usually they are very vague and there are no feelings assocaited with it. Sometimes I feel hands. I usually do not believe what I remember. there is one summer before the 6th grade that I don't remember at all. I've had nightmares where I wake up paralyzed with fear but never remember what I've dreamt. What happened the other night was totally different the terror I felt is indescribable. Just thinking about it makes me shake inside and the mere thought of speaking a single word sends tears streaming down my cheeks. There was a hand covering my nose and mouth and I was suffocating. I felt likeI was suffocating while I was having the flashback. There was someone on top of me but I don't know possibly my dad. The room was dark. I have no concept of time or place. I just know the terror the mountain of terror the indescribable terror I feel. The anguish. The feeling that I can't deal with this. That I can't survive this. I feel disgusting and disgusted. I can't have anyone touch me. My therapist keeps asking me what he can do to help. What I need from him. The truth is nothing helps.
