Failed Attempt

[GWhizz]

Last night it all got too much for me. I'm really overwhelmed and I'm sinking. I took a concoction of prescription meds, though my partner got to me before I could take them all. I'm annoyed now I failed. I'm annoyed it looks like a cry for attention. I don't want the attention etc. I want out

 

[RussH]

GWhizz, I am sorry you felt you needed to make the attempt, but I am glad your partner found you. G we need you here. When you are feeling the way you were last night, come on the forum and talk with us.
Please reach out in these dark times, and let us here at the forum help.

 

[scout86]

I'm going to selfishly say that I'm glad it didn't work! Take the attention you need, deserve, and don't want, instead of the way out. There will be better days, if you hang around.

 

[desiderata310]

I get that @GWhizz
Please call you therapist.
I understand it's not a 'cry for help' and that you were earnest. Having been there only a few months ago, I get it.
I'm grateful you are still here.
Keep fighting. Keep talking.

 

[shimmerz]

There is a side of me that 'wants out' as well. It takes me over in an instant and I am at risk of wandering and just dropping - with my location of choice being 'nowhere' - out in a forest away from everyone. I am attempting to get to what triggers that side of me. I am wondering @GWhizz whether this is a feeling that overcomes you, creeps in slowly, lingers, is constant in the back of your mind. I am grateful that you are here.....you have helped me often. Thank you and please keep safe.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@GWhizz - I am glad that your partner found you. So may of us on here no what it is like to become too overwhelmed. It may not be a cry for attention, but it is a warning signal. I hope you can reach out to your therapist, on here, to your partner, wherever you need to in order to find some support through this rough patch.

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: @gwizz - I'm also really glad you failed. I don't see it so much as a cry for attention as it is a sign that your pain was worse than you knew how to cope with, a sign of your desperation to get out of the pain you are in. Please keep reaching out. I know the pain seems endless and crushing now. Please don't trust these thoughts to end it all, that's the PTSD and trauma talking. Please call your doctor, call your therapist, tell them what happened. They will NOT be annoyed with you. Please keep sharing here, if it helps you.

 

[GWhizz]

Thank you all for your kind supportive words. I did manage to take a lot of meds though so I'm really zonked right now. I just can't bring myself to contact my T as I feel she'll try forcing me to go to the ED. I already had the paramedic crew here last night trying to coax me and I had a social worker today (had a mental health community assessment) trying to get me to go. I feel physically okay though, only really tired which is to be expected - I took a lot of sertraline and some sleeping tabs etc. I think I just need to try to sleep it off. I'm considering going to my gp in the morning though I figure he too will just tell me to go to the ED to get my liver toxicity tests done. I work at the local hospital so I refuse to go there. I could not live with my colleagues knowing about this

 

[littlelostchild]

@GWhizz , I am so sorry to hear that you are in such pain right now. I encourage you to talk with your T. She can't 'force' you to go to ED, although she may strongly recommend it. She will be a great support and resource person for you now.

Please take care of yourself.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I've had a doctor threaten to send the police to my house if I didn't go to an ER, which would've been the hospital I worked at. I talked him out of it. I totally get you not wanting to be taken where you work, but if push comes to shove, go. Glad you are still here

 

[GWhizz]

@littlelostchild thank you, though I'm really afraid she'll be angry at me and won't want to take me back.

@KwanYingirl I think I may go to my gp in the morning if he has a free slot and get him to give me forms to get my bloodwork done in the outpatients dept at my hospital

 

[Recovery4Me]

((GWhizz))

When someone loves someone that attempts suicide, it leaves them feeling so unimportant and valueless. Most of all, they feel abandoned and inflict self-shame that somehow they did not do something right that could have prevented it.

My Mom, tried so many times to commit suicide in so many ways...it is a sad event for all concerned. It leaves those loving you in pain.

So, I am stomping my feet:inpain: then asking you nice like GWhizz, call your therapist, stop hurting yourself and those that love you (like us and your partner). You faced death...too bad if the therapist "gets mad".:grumpy: The therapist needs a wake up call anyway....you almost weren't here.:cry:

So so sad.:hug: