Falling apart

[Smile]

I have PTSD & GAD. I also get depression but I’ve been told that’s from the anxiety being too much for me.

My mom flew out here and has been staying by me for 3 weeks, 1 more to go.

I wasn’t doing well before she came but think I’m worse now. She’s trying so hard to let me be but u stilll feel stifled, like I’m being watched every moment, it’s suffocating.

On the other hand she makes me 3 meals a day (her purpose for coming) because otherwise I forget to eat.

Now she’s asking me if I think it would be good for me if she stayed longer but moved out of my place. I wasn’t very nice. Kinda raised my voice saying, “if I knew what would “fix” me, don’t you think I’d do it??!?”.

I’m in constant mental agony and physical pain and just don’t want this anymore. I want it all to end. I beg to not wake up in the morning but my wish hasn’t been granted yet... obviously

I must apologize for not responding or even looking (I’m SO sorry!) at your responses to my other recent posts... I just am too scared...

Don’t even know what I’m hoping for by posting...

 

[Deleted member 541]

Life with PTSD sucks. We all get it. I think what’s going on with your mother, is she’s scared. She’s afraid that you will kill yourself. She afraid because you don’t eat, she afraid because you are her child and no parent wants to see their kid suffer or die and she feels helpless.

Are you in therapy and are you specifically working on your trauma????

 

[Smile]

Life with PTSD sucks. We all get it. I think what’s going on with your mother, is she’s scared. Sh...

I’m kinda in therapy. Very low on money so seeing my every 3 weeks or so. Definitely not enough.

I know my mothers scared and I hate that I make her feel that way. I’ve pushed off her visiting for as long as I could because of that. But it just got to a point where I just didn’t care anymore.

Thanks for ur reply :)

 

[Gamereign555]

I hope you are hanging in there. I know I have felt the way you have described before. And I know the toll it takes on loved ones trying to care for us. I wish you Godspeed on finding therapy on a more frequent note.

I was lucky and found one that made exceptions just for me. She also helped me qualify on low income for a bunch of extra sessions. I ended up seeing her for close to two years.

I think life is amazing and worth it even if this monster gets uglier now and then, hang in there I think you will be showing PTSD who is boss soon enough!