Sideways
Moderator
@Snowflake - I prefer to think in terms of "inaccurate" memories rather than "false" memories because of the excruciatingly bogus "False Memory Symptom". Don't believe everything you read. In fact, if you find yourself reading something that supports the notion of "false memories", start with the assumption that the "science" is bogus!
Thing about memories is that they so often aren't just a movie playing in our head. Memories have all sorts of extra information that can hang onto them, like emotions, thoughts, body sensations. So, say I have a memory in my head and I'm thinking, "Is this for realsies?" I check out what's going on in my body. Oftentimes there's feelings attached, like fear or nausea, or I can notice sensations like my stomach tightening or a particular smell. That's telling me that the experience that created that movie-memory has simultaneously left other imprints elsewhere in my system. Those bits of extra information are much harder to doubt - even if I have false memories; do I really believe that I have false terror and false jas clenching and false flight response as well? The detail of the memory may be inaccurate, but nausea is nausea, you know?
The other thing that I know for absolute certain when I'm doubting my memories is that I question the accuracy waaay more than any T ever would. That's pretty normal - there's loads of different reasons why we doubt our memories of trauma.
But from where my T sits, "Are these memories true?" doesn't really come into it. They're treating my PTSD, helping 2017 Ragdoll recover and become functional again. Whatever has brought me to their office, they need to help the 'here and now' version of me. If I'm spitting out memories during a therapy session, regardless of whether they're true, false or somewhere in between, my T is concerned with "What do I do with this to heal?" rather than "Is this completely accurate?"
What you remember is the stored version of your perception of the information that your brain was able to take in at the time, which you're looking at through glasses that are coloured by your experiences and knowledge gained since then. So they're not perfect. But they are the "truth", so far as they are your truth, they're what is causing all of the symptoms that you're experiencing, and they're what you need to heal from.
I think at some point, it is important to start leaving behind the protection that denial offers, and accept that this happened. But we don't readh that acceptance overnight, and it is normal (and even healthy) to have these questions in our mind for a while as we adjust to the awful truth - that it's very, very real.
Thing about memories is that they so often aren't just a movie playing in our head. Memories have all sorts of extra information that can hang onto them, like emotions, thoughts, body sensations. So, say I have a memory in my head and I'm thinking, "Is this for realsies?" I check out what's going on in my body. Oftentimes there's feelings attached, like fear or nausea, or I can notice sensations like my stomach tightening or a particular smell. That's telling me that the experience that created that movie-memory has simultaneously left other imprints elsewhere in my system. Those bits of extra information are much harder to doubt - even if I have false memories; do I really believe that I have false terror and false jas clenching and false flight response as well? The detail of the memory may be inaccurate, but nausea is nausea, you know?
The other thing that I know for absolute certain when I'm doubting my memories is that I question the accuracy waaay more than any T ever would. That's pretty normal - there's loads of different reasons why we doubt our memories of trauma.
But from where my T sits, "Are these memories true?" doesn't really come into it. They're treating my PTSD, helping 2017 Ragdoll recover and become functional again. Whatever has brought me to their office, they need to help the 'here and now' version of me. If I'm spitting out memories during a therapy session, regardless of whether they're true, false or somewhere in between, my T is concerned with "What do I do with this to heal?" rather than "Is this completely accurate?"
What you remember is the stored version of your perception of the information that your brain was able to take in at the time, which you're looking at through glasses that are coloured by your experiences and knowledge gained since then. So they're not perfect. But they are the "truth", so far as they are your truth, they're what is causing all of the symptoms that you're experiencing, and they're what you need to heal from.
I think at some point, it is important to start leaving behind the protection that denial offers, and accept that this happened. But we don't readh that acceptance overnight, and it is normal (and even healthy) to have these questions in our mind for a while as we adjust to the awful truth - that it's very, very real.