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Family invites and stress management over the holidays

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HannaD

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I'm probably using avoidance right now but, I will deal with this today. After a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with my family we've been invited to a family Christmas weekend with all the family's kids there.
I'm torn btwn wanting to see my precious neices and nephews and wanting to just stay home. I know that even if I do go, have fun, am grateful that I will also be anxious, tired and reluctant to go. If I stay home then I'll be missing family but, not be tired and wanting to run away.
Maybe I should accept the invite and work on those feelings trying to separate me from my loved ones. Or, perhaps I'm just being hard on myself and need some space for decompression. It's a few weeks away but, a response feels appropriate within the next day.
I considered letting the host know that I suffer from PTSD and will try. But, what good would that do? It feels like letting them know I fight PTSD is a cop-out of some sort. Like it gives me permission to flake out sometimes. Or permission to be weak when I was brought up to be strong. On the other hand, keeping this an immediate family secret feels like a big burden. Besides, I know how the media sees ptsd suffers. Would my extended family disapprove of my symptoms? I don't know.
 
Is there a place you can go to be by yourself and decompress for a few hours? Or would it even be possible to, say, just go out for a walk by yourself? Because I find that as much as I enjoy socializing with family members I haven't seen in a while, I get grumpy and exhausted if I don't get some time to myself at least for a little bit.
 
Is there a place you can go to be by yourself and decompress for a few hours? Or would it even be possible to, say, just go out for a walk by yourself? Because I find that as much as I enjoy socializing with family members I haven't seen in a while, I get grumpy and exhausted if I don't get some time to myself at least for a little bit.

Thank you for the suggestions. I'm not sure I'll be able to get away from the noise but, it's not an entire weekend. Sorry if I mislead any readers by my wording. You're idea of meeting both needs didn't even cross mind. Seeing my family and providing myself with space sounds like a good idea. I think I will let the host know that we may have to leave early but, will try to drop in for a bit.
 
I considered letting the host know that I suffer from PTSD and will try. But, what good would that do?
For me? The host of one of our family gatherings knows I have ptsd, knows what would make it more comfortable for me, and chooses to make no accommodations for that.

That, in itself, is a choice they have made. And communicated to me. Which in turn informs my decision about how to handle the situation.

"I have this health condition, and if I attend, I'll need to do x, y and z to accommodate that" is perfectly reasonable. Telling a person "I have ptsd" without any further information leaves them a bit in the lurch, but if you can clarify what would help make the experience pleasant for you in accommodating your ptsd? It can potentially be a platform to some much more enjoyable occasions and meaningful relationships, or alternatively, demonstrate to you how close (or how not close) this person actually is.
 
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