Fast attachment

[Noralee]

I am learning that being raised by a narcissist has really distorted the way I see myself and those around me. RIght now I am in a period of not dating for two years. Honestly, I do not trust myself. See, there has never been a getting to know someone period but if they are kind and loving up front, I would just jump right into the deep-end per se. Obviously, the outcomes were not good. Why do I do this? Why can't I just get to know someone and not jump into a 'serious' relationship?

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I think that we so desperately feel the need to be wanted and loved. So we go all in, which doesn’t work with anyone but codependent personalities/people seeking the same dysfunctional immediacy. Whether romantic or even basic friendships. I am guessing you run into the transference stuff as well wanting a mother or a father’s unconditional love. I ran into a lot of this age 15-25. When my late onset PTSD hit, I also found that in some of my friendships. I am trying to be much more careful. I think it is perfectly fine that you don’t date until you can have a firm footing in who you are and taking things slow.