- Post starter
- #13
E
Eja
Yeah I get it. I was wrong on quite a few counts. "Consequences of my actions." I think I'm immature in many ways.
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
Can you talk more about the feeling that you've been bullied? What happens to trigger that?I've never actually been physically abused, but I feel as if I've been bullied my entire life, by everything around me. Reading about those who have been physically abused makes me feel kinda lucky in a way.
Can you give an example?She's fantasizing and she's victimizing me for her own glee, trying to make me seem like some monster that's tormenting her, when ironically, she's the one living in her fantasies of inflated self-worth, tormenting me.
Can you tell this story, as if you were a neutral third-party?Now they just bust open the door (brother included) and yell at me for no concrete reason.
What does it mean - when they ask you to be like them, and you refuse - can you say more about that?Then they look at me as if I were crazy when I refuse to be like them,
I mean this with an intent to help: you are demonstrating the same behavior. You are dramatizing your life with everyone else as the monsters and you as the victim. Now, really, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. But it's why I'm legitimately interested in some more concrete details of the events you allude to.They exaggerate events and dramatize everything with me as the monstrous villain and that mother as the victim.
What are the traumas? I'm interested in the concept, "even if nothing is going to happen to me, it's a new trauma" - can you write more about that?I just can't escape from the traumas, and new ones are being introduced every single day. I'm writing this because the fear of what will happen tomorrow is killing me. Even if nothing's really going to happen to me, it's a new trauma that is simultaneously a trigger for a past trauma (that's being repeated again and again).
There are. I think I can promise you that. You are on the cusp of being more independent in the world (going to university), and you will meet many very very different kinds of people.I just want reassurance that there are people out there who are different, different from the freaks I've seen all my life.
Nah, you're good.If it seems like I'm taking advantage of your generosity, I'm sorry. I'm new to this forum thing. I hope I haven't broken any ru
Without divulging detail, can you give a narrative example of one of those 'time and time again' moments - really, I'd just like to know what YOU would like to do - your personal decision - vs. what they would like you to do.I've told these people time and time again about how I want to do things and how they should support my personal decisions, but they don't even seem capable of understanding what 'respecting someone's views' is. From what I can see, it seems their idea of respect is equivalent to capitulation. (And this has nothing to do with my antagonistic views, it's the truth that I've seen for many years) I feel that it would be simply great if my life had more 'clarity'. Is this even PTSD? Or is it something else? It certainly doesn't feel like schizophrenia. There's just no clarity.
As much as you can, you need to keep trying to communicate and keep trying to listen. When someone says something you don't like, try and avoid being reactive. Breathe. Ask questions.I'll go and tell the doctors why I feel the treatment is going the wrong way, and try to get some clarity on my situation - like what exactly they think is wrong or a clear idea of the meds and their risks and benefits. I think some 'patient education' is in order -