Feeling Misunderstood

[jenis]

Why is it that I have no tolerance for people and get annoyed and want to retreat as soon as I try and get to know someone?
Feeling talked down to,judged, and misunderstood. It makes me not want to participate in activities or get close to anyone or let them close to me.
Thanks for any feedback.

 

[Friday]

Why do you think you do it?

I can think of about 400 reasons why you might, but they're often contradictory / 1 is the opposite of the other. So without anything else to go on? The possibilities aren't endless, but near as.

 

[aut555]

Is it that you just aren't ready to share yourself with others right now? We all have comfort zones and due to PTSD, those zones change daily due to environmental background, types of personalities we come across, our mood, etc. There are so many parameters to consider. Those with ptsd, our parameters are heightened or can feel all encompassing, causing us to pull back like a turtle. :)

Today some guy started yelling at me for no reason. When l was in full ptsd mode, l think l screamed right back. Now that l am in normal mode, l just walked away. He probably is unemployed, and unemployable gathering from his choice of words in the English language and his derogatory opinion of females. Maybe you feel more personally slighted by rude people, come live where l live and you would get a thick skin. Rude people are a dime a dozen, just step back and see this as on them and not you. Hope that helps.

 

[EveHarrington]

I have a low tolerance too. It stinks!

 

[jenis]

Thanks and here is about me. Sorry I did post this on my profile page but here goes. A bit lengthy. Still trying to figure this site out:

I was brought up in a blue collar home with no emotion offered or accepted. I became a drinker and drugged and teen mom. (Been sober 25 years).
The quest to find love, the violent death of my brother at 19. The severe Abuse of me and my 2oldest girls at the hand of mean man from 17 to 25 started it all.

Then was everything to everyone at the expense of me for 20 plus years. Cancer survivor 11 years. Many surgeries then the benzo to hold it together.

I finally said enough when my youngest was raised and shut down. Did not want to participate with life as I've known it. Said and still do say I will live in a tent by the river before I succumb to society standards as it's all crap.

Then lived in my car for 1plus years. Homeless shelter. One job after another. Family pushed me away didn't understand me. Then drugged and raped a year ago this month. I really did not understand what happened to my physical any more. My brain has been a fog. Been on fight or flight extreme. Things feel terrifying and not safe anymore.
My Dad and an old friend has taken me in on the verge of my death by self destruction and has cared for me. I am now just getting my mind to come back.
It's been terrifying.
My body doesn't feel the same. My brain feels fried. I don't want to go out and socialize. It's very difficult to keep going and find how to function after loosing so many jobs because i just go to a white noise place when stress comes and bolt or they let me go cause I'm not participating in people's bull shit. Yes I have a bit of an attitude. I'm going to stop now cause I'm getting anxious just writing this.
Thank you for reading some of my story and thank you for letting me know that others feel some of the same.

 

[jenis]

My first counseling appointment tomorrow...yeah I guess. Hopeful

 

[aut555]

Crossing my fingers that you are finding comfort and feel safe in your self and your physical space.