Relationship Feeling So Sad...

[Bubbles215]

It surely is ;);)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I have 4 months to wait till I'm a bit more free

 

[Bubbles215]

Oh no, how come Saelben?

 

[Deleted member 20280]

To continue with the Latin vein remember the one mantra that has kept me going all these past 45 years :-

Nici-Illegitimae-Carborundum or in plain English * Don't let the Bastard's get you down

:)

 

[Milo's papa]

You guys and girls are awesome!!! Thank you for the very sound advice and for the laughs (warm underw...

Bubbbles215, I think what you are going through right now every supporter goes through at least once. It doesn't matter if you two have been together for a month, or like my wife and I for 35 years next month. One thing I can tell you is, if you choose to stay in this relationship, these times won't get any easier. My T gave me a suggestion that really helped me and I would like to pass it on to you.

Write him a letter every day that you can't be with him, keep it all about you; how your day was, what you did, etc... Try not to make him feel like what he's doing is bad or wrong, it's not, it's what he needs right now. Then, when he comes back, you can give them to him to read when you're not there. It will let him know that even though he was physically alone, he wasn't alone after all, you were still there in spirit. I know it sure helped my wife during these times.

All that said, be careful not to set yourself up to be hurt if he doesn't come back. Sometimes there is nothing we, as supporters can do about that.

 

[catlover26]

My guy is also a recovering Alcoholic of 30 yrs but the ptsd and what I have learned from this forum has explained a lot of his behavior. Our relationship too started off with a bang. Going out all the time, so much affection and romance. I had been through a divorce and I knew I was falling in love, real love this time. The feelings for both of us were intense and he admitted it. We had some discussions that he was uncomfortable with. He doesn't like any kind of conflict and I think he started backing away and it has never been the same since.

He is very complicated and I have had to learn if I really want to be with him there are just some things I am going to have to accept. That 'honeymoon' period may have not been the real him. I will never know or it were too many emotions for him to handle with ptsd. We don't talk about any of this being ptsd behavior. I think he would get defensive. But we still see each other about 2 times a week at his place. His moods vary but overall in the past few months he has been happier.

I would suggest you keep a journal when you are together and write down the good times you have including all the little things. I tend to focus and remember too much of the negative and forget the little fun times or laughs we have so it helps to go back and read it.