D
Dris
Firstly I must say how relieved I am to find this site. I have spent all afternoon reading different posts and I feel slightly better to the past 3 days of being an emotional wreck blubbering with my heart ripped out.
I met my partner (well ex partner as of today) 9 months ago. He served 22 years in the army but left early to save his marriage. It didn't last. He said that he had tried all ways but she changed him into a person he didn't like. Being 48 and him 49 we decided quite early on to really give things a go. We had met online and done a lot of talking before we met up and we have had a lovely 9 months. We've given each other our space because we both have busy lives at the moment and saw each every other weekend. To be honest I have always liked my space so it has suited me down to the ground. We've chatted on the phone every night (he's the one ringing me) and we were coming to the next stage of spending more time together. We also had a holiday planned. We have really supported each other through normal daily demands (actually me giving more the support). He has already told me he loved me and I know he meant it and we were looking forward to the next stage. We just seemed to be going in the same direction. I didn't realise until today that he must have PTSD and now all his behaviour makes sense to me which is quite comforting as I now don't take it personally.
He's a lovely thoughtful gentleman 98% of the time but there have been times when he has really snapped at me over silly things and I have thought "ooh, where did that come from". He has apologised after and said at the beginning of our relationship that he was occasionally 'grumpy' and his ex wife had been used to it. He is also a very reserved person and is very good at detaching his emotions but the closer we got the warmer he got (not as warm as I'm used to but I was fine with it). I am a very laid back person and I have got used to letting his snappy comments go over my head.
A week last Thursday he was ordering presents for me, planning our holiday, having parcels for him sent to my home for him to pick up this weekend. We were looking forward to our weekend. Then Sunday/Monday he went a bit quiet. He has been very unhappy in his job with no job satisfaction and problems with certain staff. I told him week last Friday that life is too short and he should look for another job. Tuesday I receive a text from him that he has listened to my advice and got a new contract. I was chuffed for him. Wednesday night he phones me and says in a few sentences, I'll get straight to the point, I've handed in my notice, I'm going away to train for 6 months, then will be posted abroad and will probably never see you again. I was absolutely stunned. He has since completely cut me off. He did answer his phone on Thursday and when I started to ask questions he got aggressive in his manner and said he needed to focus on this new job and for me to leave him alone and nobody can change his mind. I have sent long supportive loving texts to him saying for him to do what he has to do, I won't try and stop him and that I'd wait for him. He never replied. I found his behaviour absolutely bizarre and then actually started to think he'd had a meltdown and was going to do something stupid. So I rang and texted his sister, not asking her to get involved but to say I was concerned and could she just let me know if he was okay. (Big mistake.) After 2 days of constant blubbering I felt a bit stronger this morning and thought right, I'm going to try to ring him again. He answered but the words that came out of his mouth this time were vile. Told me that I shouldn't have involved his family (she had forwarded him the texts) and by pulling a stunt like that any reconciliation between us was now out of the question, he didn't want to be with me, had no feelings for me, has blocked my texts and that if I didn't believe him he was off to f*** an ex girlfriend and would send me the pictures, and to f*** off and never contact him again. I was traumatised and still reeling from the shock.
Can anyone give me reason for his behaviour. Is it because he can't handle new job plus relationship etc? I know now that I shouldn't have bombarded him with phone calls and texts but it's done now. And does anyone think he'll contact me again. People would think I was nuts to want him to contact me again but I think of the last 9 months not the last week.
I met my partner (well ex partner as of today) 9 months ago. He served 22 years in the army but left early to save his marriage. It didn't last. He said that he had tried all ways but she changed him into a person he didn't like. Being 48 and him 49 we decided quite early on to really give things a go. We had met online and done a lot of talking before we met up and we have had a lovely 9 months. We've given each other our space because we both have busy lives at the moment and saw each every other weekend. To be honest I have always liked my space so it has suited me down to the ground. We've chatted on the phone every night (he's the one ringing me) and we were coming to the next stage of spending more time together. We also had a holiday planned. We have really supported each other through normal daily demands (actually me giving more the support). He has already told me he loved me and I know he meant it and we were looking forward to the next stage. We just seemed to be going in the same direction. I didn't realise until today that he must have PTSD and now all his behaviour makes sense to me which is quite comforting as I now don't take it personally.
He's a lovely thoughtful gentleman 98% of the time but there have been times when he has really snapped at me over silly things and I have thought "ooh, where did that come from". He has apologised after and said at the beginning of our relationship that he was occasionally 'grumpy' and his ex wife had been used to it. He is also a very reserved person and is very good at detaching his emotions but the closer we got the warmer he got (not as warm as I'm used to but I was fine with it). I am a very laid back person and I have got used to letting his snappy comments go over my head.
A week last Thursday he was ordering presents for me, planning our holiday, having parcels for him sent to my home for him to pick up this weekend. We were looking forward to our weekend. Then Sunday/Monday he went a bit quiet. He has been very unhappy in his job with no job satisfaction and problems with certain staff. I told him week last Friday that life is too short and he should look for another job. Tuesday I receive a text from him that he has listened to my advice and got a new contract. I was chuffed for him. Wednesday night he phones me and says in a few sentences, I'll get straight to the point, I've handed in my notice, I'm going away to train for 6 months, then will be posted abroad and will probably never see you again. I was absolutely stunned. He has since completely cut me off. He did answer his phone on Thursday and when I started to ask questions he got aggressive in his manner and said he needed to focus on this new job and for me to leave him alone and nobody can change his mind. I have sent long supportive loving texts to him saying for him to do what he has to do, I won't try and stop him and that I'd wait for him. He never replied. I found his behaviour absolutely bizarre and then actually started to think he'd had a meltdown and was going to do something stupid. So I rang and texted his sister, not asking her to get involved but to say I was concerned and could she just let me know if he was okay. (Big mistake.) After 2 days of constant blubbering I felt a bit stronger this morning and thought right, I'm going to try to ring him again. He answered but the words that came out of his mouth this time were vile. Told me that I shouldn't have involved his family (she had forwarded him the texts) and by pulling a stunt like that any reconciliation between us was now out of the question, he didn't want to be with me, had no feelings for me, has blocked my texts and that if I didn't believe him he was off to f*** an ex girlfriend and would send me the pictures, and to f*** off and never contact him again. I was traumatised and still reeling from the shock.
Can anyone give me reason for his behaviour. Is it because he can't handle new job plus relationship etc? I know now that I shouldn't have bombarded him with phone calls and texts but it's done now. And does anyone think he'll contact me again. People would think I was nuts to want him to contact me again but I think of the last 9 months not the last week.
