Freaked out

[Casey_03]

I am utterly creeped out by something and I need objective opinions on whether I'm overreacting.

I went to the grocery store this morning with my son, was gone for an hour. When I returned to my grandma's house, where I am living (alone, though other relatives have access to the house and have stayed here previously), I noticed that someone had gone through my room and moved a bunch of my stuff.

I am fairly certain it was my creepy uncle, because no other relatives are currently in town and he is the only one who lives in the same town. He comes to the house a lot for random stuff. And he has started to creep me out. I don't even know why, but he doesn't seem to understand or respect boundaries and he keeps treating me like I'm his daughter, even though I barely know him and have never been close to him.

Anyway, it freaks me out that he could come into my room and go through my shit, with all my underwear and personal belongings sitting out. And he'd have no reason to be in my room.

Am I in the wrong here? It's not my house, and I don't pay rent right now. But it's also not his house.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Put a lock on your bedroom door. Also on your son's. It is your private room for now and he needs to respect that. He also must have wanted you to know, or he would have put things back.

 

[Casey_03]

This is the same uncle who once barged into my room while I was pumping breast milk and didn't so much as apologize or act embarrassed at all. He was nice at first but now he freaks me the f*ck out.

 

[Casey_03]

I got into an argument with him the other day and ended up telling him to stay the f*ck away from me. I can't help but think he's now playing games with me and went through my room intentionally to show me he's somehow in control or something.

It's hard to tell if i'm reading things right, or if i'm just so used to abusive men that I'm projecting abusive behavior onto him.

 

[Kintsugi]

I would not at all be comfortable with someone going through my things in any capacity (whether my bag in the kitchen or the drawers in my bathroom), and I really wouldn't be comfortable having someone in my room while I was away. I don't think you're really overreacting, although I am wouldn't call this violation/intrusion "abusive" behavior so much as inappropriate and disrespectful.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Well, at first I considered that there might be some mistake, but this is sorta creepy.

First step, as suggested, lock. Also, side question, have you confronted him about it and tried to set clear boundries.

Yes, he might be creepy and intrusive and intentionally trying something, but he also might just be extremely socially uncalibrated? Nothing to lose (except maybe nerves)

An alternative, since you are murican might be :p No offense intended :p

Spoiler: Image

 

[ladee]

I would be so freaked out.
Can not wait for you to be away from the whole damned bunch of them.
He know you can't prove it was him. If you can't get a new lock, set up a camera. They have really cheap ones !!

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Speak with an attorney an have your personal area (babe too) off limits to access. Common decency should be enough, but I learned that it does not bother some to go through everything you own under such circumstances.

Though the house is for sale he has no reason or rights to go through your private area, or belongings.

I went through a similar situation when my house had to be sold. I owned / shared a house with my father for years. We are both very private and respectful.My father was living elsewhere. I had just undergone serious ankle surgery non weight bearing for 4 months. New owners changed their mind about my living on for a few a few months with 10 days notice. 2 brothers "helped with the move." 4 years later I still have massive panic attacks trying to open boxes. Recent example of what they did. Opened one of my tool boxes. Inside was a sports bra used for work as a boat manager within a year of move, banking and other private documents from a decade prior, special drilling tools to cut holes in doors to place locks, handles. These never would have under any circumstances have been together. I could not pack. They went through everything while it was being packed, and while in storage as I found a place to move to.

I would pack up all you need to an find a safe place to store while this process is ongoing.

Every box I open now 4 years later makes me ill. All of my journals gone, photos gone, files gone…. None of that got moved!

 

[Twilight]

I definitely see this as a power and control issue. Him trying to show you he has power and control over your privacy and your personal safe spot. I would take any action possible to insure your safety.