MichelleLee150
New Here
Hi. I go by Michelle. I've had several traumatic experiences including molestation, bullying for 8 years, an abusive, narcissistic woman my dad dated and the early, self-destructive deaths of my mom and brother. Ten years ago I also lost my dad too early due to cancer that he let go. Also self-destructive, I believe.
I started remembering things in my late 20's that I'd kinda shoved off to the side. I didn't realize really what I was dealing with, so I didn't seek counseling, as I'd had poor counseling and family resistance in the past.
Flash forward: I gained 100 pounds, lost my job, had a serious falling out with step family involving how my step mom bankrupted my dad's trust, and over a decade of religious institution use and abuse. Now I'm in one of the poorer counties in Illinois where I went to get a college degree and wound up getting into a three year abusive relationship that impoverished me. I'm over $100 thousand in debt. I took the brave step of leaving for my own safety and mental well-being, was homeless and couch surfing for about three months until I could get into the sole shelter we have within an hour's drive.
Amazingly, I managed to hold down temp work, and landed my first permanent job in over a decade this past September. I have a very understanding and supportive boss, and have the opportunity to do what I love. It's been decades.
Throughout This time I've had lots of difficulties, and had to piecemeal my own mental health program together. My state has cut mental health services by 65 percent over the past 5 years, and the budget crisis is gutting our social services and community safety nets of all kinds. I'm here at the recommendation of a friend. I'm hoping I can glean the resources I need to continue the healing process without the guarantee of access to local mental health services, because here even our state university where I get free counseling is in serious jeopardy. I am looking into the hospital as an option for behavioral health services, and I understand there's a trauma section for counseling. Not sure if I'll qualify for free services, because I make a whopping $9.50 an hour, and that pretty much disqualifies me for any state or federal aid (not that the state would actually pay; our health department got $28 out of the few hundred thousand they normally get in grants. That's $28.00, not $28 thousand).
So, this is where I'm at, and why I'm here. I'm very resourceful and do a lot of research, and am willing and able to dedicate a few hours of my time a day to my own healing process, with or without a counselor. Thanks for listening!
I started remembering things in my late 20's that I'd kinda shoved off to the side. I didn't realize really what I was dealing with, so I didn't seek counseling, as I'd had poor counseling and family resistance in the past.
Flash forward: I gained 100 pounds, lost my job, had a serious falling out with step family involving how my step mom bankrupted my dad's trust, and over a decade of religious institution use and abuse. Now I'm in one of the poorer counties in Illinois where I went to get a college degree and wound up getting into a three year abusive relationship that impoverished me. I'm over $100 thousand in debt. I took the brave step of leaving for my own safety and mental well-being, was homeless and couch surfing for about three months until I could get into the sole shelter we have within an hour's drive.
Amazingly, I managed to hold down temp work, and landed my first permanent job in over a decade this past September. I have a very understanding and supportive boss, and have the opportunity to do what I love. It's been decades.
Throughout This time I've had lots of difficulties, and had to piecemeal my own mental health program together. My state has cut mental health services by 65 percent over the past 5 years, and the budget crisis is gutting our social services and community safety nets of all kinds. I'm here at the recommendation of a friend. I'm hoping I can glean the resources I need to continue the healing process without the guarantee of access to local mental health services, because here even our state university where I get free counseling is in serious jeopardy. I am looking into the hospital as an option for behavioral health services, and I understand there's a trauma section for counseling. Not sure if I'll qualify for free services, because I make a whopping $9.50 an hour, and that pretty much disqualifies me for any state or federal aid (not that the state would actually pay; our health department got $28 out of the few hundred thousand they normally get in grants. That's $28.00, not $28 thousand).
So, this is where I'm at, and why I'm here. I'm very resourceful and do a lot of research, and am willing and able to dedicate a few hours of my time a day to my own healing process, with or without a counselor. Thanks for listening!
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