Gaslighting by therapist?

[Fadeaway]

I am scared and in tears right now. I can only come up with 2 possible explanations for whats going on.

1. I am suffering from psychosis and paranoia or
2. My therapist has been gaslighting me.

I am to exhausted to go into details right now, and since I am filing a complaint I am not sure how much I should share on the off chance someone at that office reads the boards, albiet, I think it is unlikely.

Trying to document my reason for this complaint is what lead to this. I am ether imagining every thing, it's all in my head, or my therapist was gaslighting me.

How can you tell if you are imagining stuff? If the things that were said and done were real? Am I hallucinating when my husband backs my version of events during the times he went in with me? See what kind of rabbit hole this can go down?

On the other hand, how can you believe that a therapist would bother with a plan to gaslight their client. A lot of stuff I am talking about would have had to been premeditated and the receptionist would have had to be somewhat aware of what was going on and willing to deny they said things. How do you reconcile that if you indeed ate not imagining the whole thing?

What can I do test for psychosis? I need a reality check here. I wish I had recorded everything. I am questioning my sanity here but then that is what gaslighting does too.

Then again I am going through withdrawals off of benzos, so I have reason to question myself.

 

[littleoc]

@Parthenogenesis may know more than I do about this?

My advice would be to have your husband locate a second therapist to speak to about this.

Is the gaslighting related to one of your triggers? Even when you’re perfectly correct that something is going on, if it is close to a past abuse, it could be a small-adapted behavior go believe you’re the one doing something wrong, when you aren’t.

I’m sorry this is happening.

 

[Fadeaway]

Oh, I hope she sees this. My husband isn't very reliable ATM, but I am working on getting someone else.

Interesting question because she was reminding me so much of my grandmother but we hadn't really talked about my grandmother outside of generalizations.

 

[Sideways]

A lot of stuff I am talking about would have had to been premeditated and the receptionist would have had to be somewhat aware of what was going on and willing to deny they said things.

This is a red flag that perhaps there’s an alternative explanation.

Without the details, I’m absolutely not going to draw any conclusions about what’s going on.

But if hubby backs you up? Give yourself an internal hug that things aren’t likely as bad as you think (ie. doesn’t sound like a sudden, spontaneous psychosis). You trust him? Rely on that. You trust him for a reason - you trust him exactly for times like now.

At the same time, the short description you’ve given would be not only gaslighting, but conspiracy (more than one person is involved in bringing you down).

These things can happen. You’re aware of the potential issue, you’ve made a complaint. You’re looking for someone else. So, you’ve done a stack of brilliant things to solve the situation for you.

But most often? Situations like this are the result of miscommunication, misunderstanding, internal interpretations that don’t fit what was actually said, and on and on - rather than psychology offices working as as a team as part of a conspiracy to make their clients feel more unbalanced . Like I said, without detail there’s no way to draw conclusions.

But that’s ok. Going over detail sounds like it’s just going to up your stress levels. What’s important right now? Something here absolutely isn’t okay for you, but you’ve taken big important steps to create a solution for yourself - moving on to someone else. That’s a big deal, an excellent achievement when you’re soooo distressed. So try and give yourself credit where it’s due. You done good, yeah?

 

[Friday]

What @Sideways said. Seriously. All of it. Read it, and read it again.

 

[Ronin]

Then again I am going through withdrawals off of benzos

Was my first thought, honestly.

None psychosis at the table, none gaslighting at the table, muuch of a withdrawal (and generic stress to top that off, so compounding each other). It would be enough.

I am questioning my sanity here

IMHO you don’t need to? :hug:
Being stressed by how people react does not mean the whole reality is off.
Nor does it mean that you are off the reality, either.

Just stressed by something your therapist said or done, but that happens.
Doesn’t mean everything about everything you know is not real.
Just that one particular bit is hard.

 

[ms spock]

Document, document, document

I was gaslighted by a therapist. It destroyed my life for two decades.

Keep documenting and don't go back.

You husband is verifying your reality so don't go back.

Find someone else.

Some of these therapists are really dangerous.

Abuse survivors make the perfect victims because we suffer from corrosive doubt.

 

[Ronin]

... Fadeaway said she is quitting that one though, no?

Which should be about enough as to the long term effects. No life ruined, out of that relation that is toxic for the person right now (regardless of if indeed made deliberately by the therapist, or just for the moment not suiting well.)

It may be useful to look at how the T treats everyone else / is in every other interaction. It is all well possible they are just a judgmental, close minded, unprofessional, etc, person, all across, or otherwise of some trait one really does not wish for in a therapist, and it is okay to quit on them for that incompatibility.

Without any concrete aims against the individual or pretending otherwise about them, involved. IMHO if something is an incompatibility, that is a good enough reason to change or exit the relationship... without gaslighting having to be involved.

 

[ms spock]

On the other hand, how can you believe that a therapist would bother with a plan to gaslight their client. A lot of stuff I am talking about would have had to been premeditated and the receptionist would have had to be somewhat aware of what was going on and willing to deny they said things.

I can believe it. Not believing myself destroyed my life for about two decades.

I don't know what is going on for you - because we can do transference etc but best be safe?

 

[grit]

From my experience, when I thought similarly I was gone insane, or in psychosis...which I shared here few times, it was because I went crazy, mad, in psychosis as a child and was re-experiencing it in adult and wow! what th FFF?

Really!

Take time off and try to imagine how as a child you must have had these feelings and in order to survive, either dissociated or completely went mental.
Count your blessing you survived. I do not think going to therapy makes us mad, I think remembering what we closed off as children make us mad in our adult version.

I am sorry you have this extreme and high frustration, but it is not really new. You had it as a child or during your trauma! and now you are seeing it fully. I hope you find respite. I truly hope so.

 

[Fadeaway]

Well now that I have received a small amount of medical help and my symptoms are more or less physical with brain fog, I am more convinced than ever.
I have to sort out speculation versus collaboration of my version of events but at least 2 medical professionals have reassured me it is not psychosis, and that I am not the first person they have heard this from.

 

[Fadeaway]

@grit respectfully, it IS new as I have never experienced a concussion before nor Benz withdrawals, let alone have the be co occuring. Hence the only reason I doubted myself.

Dissociated during some traumas? Yes, went mental? No, I couldn't afford to. I have always been super efficient in survival mode during trauma, its afterwards and trying to function normally that I become symptomatic. (Not quite as true as it was when I was younger, but still...)