Getting Good Things From Bad Things.

[Abrasky]

Has anyone struggled with getting good things from bad experiences? For instance, I went to a funeral and the lady's husband had died. I didn't know either of them. I was given the opportunity to be company for this lady on some weekends as a child. I got a good friend out of someone elses misfortune. She turned out to be one of the better influences in my life. Other good things- motivation to succeed, freedom, a determination to make other people happy ect.

 

[Jestadud]

Not quite understanding where you are coming from Maze, can you elaborate a bit more?

 

[Abrasky]

valid point.
I feel guilty about growing from bad situations. As a survivor of being a child in a domestic violence family and sexual abuse it was like the water and sunshine wasn't there as it was a desert. I struggled to find some good rain to grow up as a child in a desert. I've had to find the rain to bloom in the desert because it wasn't given to me in the conventional way of a parent being a good role model. My dad was violent and controlling and destructive about work, my mum had stockholm syndrome and kept abandoning me.
So I found sunshine in the form of a friend I met at a funeral. I found inspiration to apply myself in my education from wanting to avoid abuse and getting out of the town and away form these people. I feel guilty about finding a positive and I feel guilty about getting a degree. If feel guilty about growing in a desert, so to speak. The guilt effects me quite badly, gives me flashbacks and survivor guilt.

 

[Grace11]

I struggle with that, too. I know it's the Guilt factor. I have always been this way, and it is much more extreme now. It's an every day struggle between my rational side and my emotional side.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think my whole life has been a series of getting good things from bad, though the bad remains. Without including what ptsd 'may' have engendered in me that is positive:

- I have found great happiness in trying to let others live and let live, and choose for themselves, and greater faith in feeling that they are 'where' they should be (for their greater good, though I too feel guilt when they suffer if I am not suffering in the way that they are)
-I have found terrific frienships, or should say people of great compassion and integrity
-I have been able to live and look myself in the mirror everyday, and at least know even bad it's not 'BS'ing myself'
-I have faced (some) fears
- I have trusted
-I've lived as honestly as I could, and told people what I actually, really think
-I'm not afraid of death, or most illnesses
-I believe in God
-I believe in love
-I believe I can empathize with many people
-I have few needs, and less wants
-I am more grateful than average when things are reasonably well
-I've been forgiven, I've received help, I've been able to speak the truth, and I'm still here (thus far) lol :rolleyes:

 

[Abrasky]

wow, that's amazing Junebug. You have a lot of good things. I suddenly feel less ashamed to have good things.