Got In Touch With My Brothers.. They Deployed And I Cant Be There With Them..

[DeadParagon]

Got In Touch With My Brothers.. They Deployed And I Cant Be There With Them..

So in the past week I got the courage to reach out to my old platoon and guys in my old unit. I find out a few are suffering like me. I find out a few EASed. I find out some redeployed and I cant be there with them and it f*ckin hurts. I really miss them. Sometimes I think if we were all together again, maybe the pain would go away.
I dont like it out here. By getting in trouble, I left them behind. I just want my family back.

 

[anthony]

Mike... the positive mate is that you did something outside of your comfort zone. You said it yourself... you got the courage and just did it, and the end result whilst may have some negative feelings for you, surely some good must off come from it as well... Did you chat with them for a while? Did you laugh and feel pretty good?

 

[DeadParagon]

I didn't call them yet.. everythings been over the internet so far. I got the numbers...just...scared to talk about things. I will though. And if I could laugh with them, that'll make me feel a lot better. But thinking about all the stuff I wanna get off my chest my talking to them has been giving me a lot of flashbacks at unexpected times and manic episodes (if thats what you wanna call them). Im trying my best to stay strong and stay busy. Im not happy that I gotta take these meds either. Whats gonna happen when or if they stop working?

 

[anthony]

Well... meds do stop working and the outcome is usually to increase the dose or they wein you off one and begin you on another. Your system will become used to each one over time.

 

[Charon]

But thinking about all the stuff I wanna get off my chest my talking to them has been giving me a lot of flashbacks at unexpected times and manic episodes (if thats what you wanna call them).

You know it is going to sound corny, but the more you talk about it the more you get comfortable...for lack of a better word, confronting what's eating at you. For quite a while I couldn't talk to my therapist about some of the things I saw/did in Iraq, and just thinking about it (to even talk about it) would make me start breathing fast and get that tight feeling in my chest. After I did actually talk about what I saw, and started to look at it square, I was able to talk/think about it easier. Its definitely not a topic of conversation I'd be crazy to indulge in, but the point I'm trying to make is after talking about it I could finally wrap my mind around what happened rather than just be horrified again and work to get past it.