Handling Ideas That I Don't Like

[BlueOrange]

Am I on the right track here?

I've always been threatened by by people who have bad ideas. On many occasions, I've put forward a plan, and someone more persuasive than myself has put forward a really bad plan. The group (the company, whatever) has gone with the bad plan, and the disaster I predicted has come to pass.

I've tried giving my honest support to the 'plan that seems bad', and often enough (admittedly not always), the plan really has been bad.

I'm starting to see what I've been doing wrong. I've been distracted by the threat, become counter-productive in the way I communicate, and I've failed to offer a better alternative. Faced with a choice between a bad plan and no plan at all, people have gone with the bad plan.

Offering a better alternative is also a better strategy because it allows for the possibility that I might be wrong. If I present an alternative, I'm helping a good decision to be made.

It's not a matter of playing the ball, and not the man (although that's part of it) it's a matter of letting the person I disagree with play with their ball, while I offer people my ball. Fighting over the ball doesn't result in a good decision about whether to play soccer or rugby. If I fight with you over the soccer ball, we're going to end up playing soccer, whether I'm ready to admit it or not.

 

[Chava]

Sounds like you've thought this through well. I used to do well on committees until I burned myself out with too much of that. But I presented ideas with clear reasons or research behind them (I had it all with me)...and if the boss seemed interested I worked it so we could discuss and she could buy into it and sometimes even think it was her idea (fine with me, especially if my plan is for the greater good). And yes, when the administration has bad plans, I can't just tell them their plans are bad. I prepare a better alternative...one that is better for all of us, and I have my information and research prepared, if relevant.

 

[The Albatross]

It is hard to accept in some cases, particularly work environments that what seems obvious to me isn't necessarily a perspective shared by others. To each their own progress I guess. I don't usually say much unless it's a safety issue. I head for the sidelines, and watch the game ... not everything is imperative or doom if a group has a really bad plan anymore.

 

[Chava]

Good point @The Albatross ....step back if it isn't really a big issue, if possible. But it is scary to "see" how a bad solution will likely create more destruction and not even solve the original problem...and how to not bite your tongue but find a positive way to contribute to the problem solving.

Our "bad" plans have sometimes had to do with things like cutting elementary music in the schools in response to testing pressure (but not really looking at the reading curriculum, just assuming we need more of it), or to save a few bucks during a bad year. I think it's really important to find a way to speak up when it counts, but it does help to have alternatives and care about being proactive...like I could appreciate the reality of our problems (but did not believe hacking music class was the "solution"). If it doesn't really matter, or isn't a problem that I'd be expected to be involved in directly, I do better at listening and just offering questions.

 

[The Albatross]

First off it would be to break down the "scary", "the idea of destruction", and the need to press harder than the group is ready for when solving the original problem. Examine it because that's my own internal stuff and perhaps dispute or refute it to gain a more balanced or different perspective of events.

How to not bite your tongue is communication skills. But in group dynamics, even the most sound communication skills do not necessarily result in turning/changing/or altering the course of the group. The resulting decisions, after I have communicated about as effectively as I can muster, is not up to me. My responsibility stops there.

Edited... sorry.