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Harsh truths you now see because of ptsd

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I've learnt that manipulators can be incredible good at what they do (good as in effective, not good as in good). That only through living it, can you truly know it.

That cowardice and (unbalanced) self-interest are very common and can be very destructive to others.

That being a kind-hearted honest person doesn't guarantee anything worth living, unless one applies said kindness and honesty to oneself.

That honesty isn't always the best policy, sometimes you need to keep truths close to your heart and for certain ears only, as some will use whatever they can get on you, against you.

That unconditional giving and caring need to be tempered with discernment and street savvy.

That you can't love some people into being loving. Lovingness is an inner state and you must give to yourself and those that can reciprocate, for the wellspring to be ongoingly bountiful.
 
No. This isn't a pleasant topic but we ignore the negative at our own peril.

What are some things t...
It has shown me that the greatest monsters of All is the human race. I cannot take credit for this quote.. Erm I can't remember who said it.
And stay away from assholes... Friends family neighbours... Whatever... Keep your own company.. And in it people who pull you up
 
I have the same problem and I was just curious on to what kind of coping skills you use to help deal with those peo...
I limit my time around them. I also only am around them when I’m grounded. Some I’ve cut out of my life. It’s pretty sobering how few are left. It can be pretty isolating.
 
My hypervigilance is a 24 hour thing, it is usually spent on staying alive in traffic or staying situationally alert at all times and not much more. Not much to talk about learning from PTSD there, it's all about managing my fears through preparedness and premeditating some decisions that may have to be made in a hurry some day.

But, when I have time to think about the people that I fear, I have made some observations I can share. I am not a racist, homophobe or a narcissist, peoples sex or orientation make no difference to me, homeless or (p)resident in the white house, I think we are all just humans and we need to be aware of some things we are all capable of being and doing so maybe we wont do or be done to.

Selfishness singular is only eclipsed by selfishness multiple. When a group crosses the line from lets be friends with each other to lets exclude others so we can further define our group, it's a slippery slope to the worst this genus has to offer from there.

people can be smart, but crowds can barely maintain a direction and mobs are the danger I fear the most.

People are easily startled, quick to panic and often get stampeded off metaphorical cliffs, some horses are smarter and some dogs are brilliant in comparison.

I am not saying my lab is a genius but he wouldn't ever hate another dog because they were brown or white or yellow and he wouldn't get in with a group of other labs and start excluding other dogs because they were smaller or had curly hair and he would never contrive to eliminate another breed by allowing the other labs to convinced him the other breed needed to be gone.

"All squirrels must die" he says. OK, maybe horses are smarter.
 
The first thing that comes to my mind, is that people idealize you as this “brave warrior” archetype on your good days, but when they see your “ugly”, it’s almost like they feel betrayed, or lied to. They want to idealize you as this amazing person they can turn to for advice and wisdom, but they don’t want to see the source of your pain. It’s like they don’t want you to be more “broken” than them, like it’s a competition. Unless you’re their therapist, if your vulnerable? You’re disposable.

Sometimes ironically the more I exhibit symptoms outwardly the more people think I’m “faking it,” funny how that works.

Real friends, people who understand, will not do this. However, there are many self-centered folks who will latch onto you and expect you to play this role, and then retreat or guilt you when you’re down. Awful.

I’m always the friend people come to and get advice from, or have “real talks” with. While I genuinely enjoy that to an extent, I have had to lay down better (and harsher) boundaries in recent years because I am so tired of dealing with this. Unfortunately, paired with my hypervigilance, now that I don’t want to be a “broken person fixer” I’ve lost my main coping mechanism for it (fawning) and am perpetually terrified of being taken advantage of.
 
Sometimes ironically the more I exhibit symptoms outwardly the more people think I’m “faking it,” funny how that works.

yeah, I get that. I think that everyone secretly believes they have everyone else figured out and when you don't run true to their conclusions you must be faking it.

Similar to trying to explain something to a higher paid, more credentialed co-worker that just doesn't get it. They look at you like you don't know what you are talking about because A) they don't know what you are talking about, and 2) they are smarter than you, therefore you can't possibly know what you are talking about.

It seems like everyone knows more about this and how to get over it than anyone that has it.
 
I think what I’ve realized the past year is that it can harden and change you. I’ve noticed even physically I’ve changed, my smile appears more forced, my eyes less kind and more suspicious. And the one thing I’ve definitely noticed that pisses me off is people seem to want to give you a time limit to get over your trauma. Like you’ve been in it long enough or people roll their eyes when you talk about flashbacks or flat out don’t believe you. This frustrates me and I saw it a lot in the mental health field that I worked in for over 10 years.
 
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