Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

[LostBear325]

It began to seem like nothing good was going to happen in my life, so I just wanted to end it. I tried a few times, but someone always found me.

 

[yomama]

I voted "no" but after reading posts here, I recognize that I engage in dangerous behavior and definitely think about car crashes. I've never overtly attempted or made plans. I stay alive for my kids.

 

[Gamereign555]

I have never tried but had thought about it once.

 

[Lionheart]

I attempted suicide many times in the past. I once had a loaded gun in my mouth, but the thought of leaving my daughter behind persuaded me to put the gun down. I also used to drink large amounts of alcohol and take handfuls of pills, cut on myself, and actually pray to die. I also had unprotected high risk sex which could easily have exposed me to HIV infection. I have been hospitalized several times for 'suicide watch'.

I suffer with Major Depressive Disorder, C-PTSD, CFS/FMS and COPD so my suicide risk is very high. However, I will have myself hospitalized again if it gets bad, but I haven't had to do that in many years!!! Suicide crosses my mind sometimes still, but I just let it pass out of my mind and try to think of happier things.

 

[freakofnurture]

Suicide with PTSD comes in various ways, it could be driving drunk and hoping to die in an accident (...)

If walking across the street without looking counts then I've attempted suicide more often than I can count. Often I'd only realise what I was doing while I was already in the middle of it.

 

[Srain]

Many times and many times, many ways..head in the gas oven, being run over by a car, jumping out of a window, etc. totally on and on, my God would not let me go, I was sooo ANGRY about having to live that I gave up trying and began to fight back The one time I had no intentions of not dying I did stop breathing, my husband saved my life and I was stunned. Of course I live with Suicidal Ideation daily, I'm just always sure I'll live if I do it intentionally :cautious:

Does PTSD make it worse? I think being more aware and the symptoms being so intrusive is a hell YEAH!! I get overwhelmed, tired, angry, so very sad, I feel guilty, and mostly I feel so different. At the same time I know I am a Survivor so if it didn't work before and I've gotten this far then I must be one bad-ass chick! :sneaky:

 

[Tinyflame]

And 'meant-to-be', Rain :):inlove:
xox, ((((((((Rain))))))))

 

[Tinyflame]

Twice, 28 years ago, 'directly'.
Struggled with SI and 'plans' since 2008, but Rain- wayyyyyy better since last October and almost non-existent since June. Really, non-existent since June because only twice was 'tempting'.
-So it's possible. :)

I think the saying applies, "S is not a treatment plan".
xox

 

[Anna]

No, I would never ever do it no matter how much I wanted to. I would rather suffer the pain than inflict pain on my loved ones who would live after my death.

I have thought about it often though. Drinking to excess, casual unprotected sex, almost to the point of well if I die I die. So risk taking that was not suicidal but almost wishing for death. The pain was exquisite to the point I did beg someone to kill me, but I could never take my own life because it would hurt those around me.

 

[alleycat]

Attempt? No. Contemplate? Oh hell yes.

I've spent weeks in passive suicidal ideation before (no plan, more like "Hey, maybe I could just step out into the street in front of that speeding bus...") and hours/days in active suicidal ideation, but my dad has brought me into this pact he had with my grandmother twice now, once when I was a young teen and then once last year when he thought I might be suicidal. Basically, as long as he's alive it's not an option.

Risky behavior, though? LOL. All the bloody time, usually without a second thought. Walking alone in the dark (I don't live in that great of a neighborhood), armed or weaponless? Yes. Driving recklessly? Yes. SI in the past and fighting it hard now. Drinking, smoking...Hell, last week I let a drunk druggie homeless woman lead me down to the river to meet her buddies away from foot traffic and out of the line of sight of anyone. I only left when I ran out of clove cigars, not when one of the men pulled me aside and warned me about the woman.

 

[alleycat]

I was armed with a small knife, sure, and always aware of my surroundings, but I was outnumbered and surrounded by people I didn't know, plus I had my purse in plain sight. At the time I was cautious but pretty care-free -- only afterwards did I realize just how stupid following a woman with sores all over her arms down a set of stairs to where sets of five or more grown men were sitting around by the river drinking really was. I was never in danger, but it could easily have gotten there.

 

[maddog]

As with so many others, contemplation is almost endless, particularly in recent weeks and months. It's rarely highly active or blatantly intrusive, just the nagging niggle of something I can't get out of my head, something that feels like an aching growing yearning need that one day I may have to deal with... somehow. Much, much risk taking and recklessness though, more so during phases of adolescence and early adulthood, but the wandering alone at night in a rough neighbourhood and odd compulsions to do crazy things in traffic etc, are ever present and only on the increase. Think I'm headed in the wrong direction on this stuff overall actually.

Maddog