Having a Bad Hair Day Due To Surgery

[dljwhitewolf]

Three weeks ago I had surgery to correct an injury forty years ago, apparently my muscles were holding up my neck, because two discs had no bone in the front of them in my neck. When I saw the mri, I immediately had a quick flash back of the cause, and reached up to my neck, and thought, poor thing, the image of me as a child. Well now it is post op and I have to keep still and not let my neck move around, a) I am in a weak position, and I am hyper vigilant b) I am having bad dreams and hurting my neck c) I am having flash backs from that time period.
:dont-know So I am screwed up for awhile, well, even more screwed up, btw 44 female, and am just like billy jack, though he was fake.
Today isn't as bad as its been, yesterday was a nightmare.
Instead of saying flashbacks I have nicknames for the different kinds, bad hair day is when I am a mess and I know it and don't care that I'm a mess, boomer is wicked ones, etc.
Anyway I was in a chatroom yesterday and someone shushed me, well, all barrels came out.
I had to shut up when I was a child, but knew I could think whatever I wanted and and knew someday I would be big and strong and not have to take garbage anymore, well I'm big, temporarily not strong, but not taking bs from unexperienced.
On Sarge's jacket, (Harold schaffer) God rest his soul, my mental mentor,
it said if you weren't there shut the xxxx up!!!!
Well been there done that and didn't get the t-shirt, why advertise that much.
Anyway, just fuming, thanks for listening.
I'm a medic and know realistically I will be healed, its my own mental abuse the flashbacks are giving me that I didn't sign up for when getting my scripts filled.
Blessings everyone
White Wolf aka Donna-Lynne:fight: me vs. my brain right now, physically I am the first smiley

 

[WarHippy1%]

Does that mean that if I walked up to you right now, and said, "I'm a' gonna take my right foot and kick you in the left side of your head, and there's not a thing you can do about it", you wouldn't just laugh and say, "yeah, right"? HA! HA! HA! Billy Jack is one of my all-time favorite movies. But being told that he's not real? I'm crushed, a whole lifetime of hero worship down the tubes!! What about the One Tin Soldier who rode away? At least he's real, Right??......RIGHT????
Oh GAWD!!! what do I do now, I'm fresh out of heroes?? I better go to the video store quick and find another...........
I hope I put a smile on your face, even if only shortly. Hyper-Vigilance is hard to maintain when your head is immobile. But, it trains the other senses. Grow from the experience, just make sure the nurse turns your bed so your back is covered. That should help.
I hope you're feeling better, back problems sometimes don't leave you a choice of forgetting the pain and just doin it. My back problems in my lower back. I've ridden 400 miles to a Club National Run before, tweaked my back after I got there, and spent the next two days in bed, unable to get up. Even with a few hundred Brothers that I hadn't seen in a year, right outside and every attempt I made to get up was met with such a strong spasm of pain that it crumpled me back down. No matter how strong you think you are, your back has the means to show you just how weak it can make you.
Get well soon.
WarHippy1%

 

[dljwhitewolf]

Yes Virginia there is a Billy Jack

:occasion: War,
Well Billy Jack is real, Tom Laughlin wasn't, is that better put? He was my hero as well, aka, ballerina kickass artist, I kick ass with Grace, and Joy and Kim, kidding I'm a loner on that.
Sometimes we are given signs, did you have signs before going to this event, of maybe you shouldn't go? Anyway I have had my proud horse kicked from under me numerous times, makes me a (human) again.
Christmas was right outside your door and you couldn't partake, know the feeling. It is my neck, two discs fused from lack of bone in front, 40 year old injury, lower back I use yoga, as I suggest you do, it's very easy to pop and you won't have to worry someone will bed ridden you. Get a tape or dvd, they should say on packaging what it helps, i.e. lower back.
You did make me laugh, thank you, I can get out, just afraid my reactions to the world will be too much for me to deal with, like turning around swiftly,
crack, oops did it again, kind of things. No pain though.
Thanks again, Donna-Lynne aka White Wolf :cool: cool dudesse

 

[WarHippy1%]

I use something like yoga, it's called a Chiropractor. Mine is special, he made his millions in the stock market, so theres no pressure to make a fortune off his patients, he charges whatever you can afford to pay. And, he restored my belief in God. I was raised a Catholic (yuck), so I wasn't in Vietnam for long before I had to decide, I was either going to hell when I died because of what I had to do to survive, or I had to lose my belief in God. For the next 20 years, whenever something good happened, I took credit for it, when something bad happened, I blamed whoever I could. I used to lift weights, drunk. Even though bobbing and weaving worked for Muhamhed Ali, lifting heavy weights causes ruptured discs. Two doctors told me I'd never lift weights, play racquetball, or work in a heavy industrial repair machine shop (which was my profession) again. It was so bad that for me to walk 1/4 mile, I'd have to sit down and wait for the pain to ease up 3 or 4 times. All my hope was gone, I couldn't work, my wife had kicked me out cuz she thought I was just f**king off, I was broke and there was no light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I was laying there, and considering the thought of making my way out to the main street, hitch-hiking out to the desert, and laying down to let nature take it's course. All at once my eyes were full of tears and I was asking God to please help me heal enough that I could work again. I fell asleep. I woke the next morning to my ex-wife telling me I looked like shit and she loaded me up and took me to this Chiropractor. Two weeks later, I returned to work. I believe that God worked a miracle in my back using that Chiropractor. I've never wondered since that day, if there is a God, I KNOW God is real, the proof I can see every time I get up and walk without pain. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Respect,
WarHippy1%

 

[dljwhitewolf]

I know God is real, but I also know he likes to play practical jokes, only I don't always get his sick humor...