Having "good" dreams about my abuser and other potentially random nightmares? Anyone else?

N

nchaninesix

I’ve never discussed this with anyone because I’ve never met anyone that can relate. I have extremely vivid dreams every single night 95% are bad dreams and a lot of the time my abuser will pop up in them as well. It’s a very disturbing thing to deal with when you wake up. This person was supposed to be the person who keeps you safe from the bad people so to dream of sexual scenarios with them sucks. My husband and I just started reading about lucid dreaming and I’m excited to give it a try. If I can realize I’m actually dreaming I can end the horrible things that are happening. One of these days I would love to wake up feeling rested because I dreamt of relaxing on the beach all night. Lol
 
M

mialudwigner

The thing is though, i didn't really have good times with my ex. Especially not sexually. I never enjoyed it.
I think the confusion comes from not realizing it was abuse or "assault" until months later.

For every sexual encounter i was dissociating, uncomfortable and in pain. Certain bodily functions even stopped working.
So it's really weird that when im dreaming of him im so at ease, in love, happy and safe.

The theory that my brain is trying to minimize or romanticize these events and this relationship is making a lot of sense...

hey, i had a very similar situation with someone. always painful and the whole couple months it was going on i didnt realize what was happening. now, i met someone who i feel incredibly safe with, something i thought would never happen, and a few days ago i had a dream about my abuser inwhich i wasnt angry at him and we were just hanging out and hugged and cuddled a bit. it felt like i forgave him in a sense and that i can move on to something healthy now.
 
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