Having "good" dreams about my abuser and other potentially random nightmares? Anyone else?

Montgomery

Learning
i get both of these, pretty much all the time lately- they seem to go in spurts.
normal for ptsd? probably.
normal for me? yep.

and they both suck, and usually throw me off for a long time after I wake up. Sometimes i end up waking up from the latter type and go straight into a flashback. Or dissociate away the mornings.

The last couple of weeks they haven't been sticking with me or bugging me nearly as much, which I think is what 'normal' people with 'normal' nightmares feel. More just like, "wtf was that about?! moving on now."
I completely buy into the theory that our brains are rapidly sorting through, sifting, organizing and deleting short term and long term memories when we hit REM so it makes sense these disturbing things are going to become really shitty dreams.
I don't think it means anything but that, but yeah, I get the whole 'questioning' the feelings thing. I'm a guy, into women only, and the abuser that I end up having fantasy nightmares about is male and i still question my feelings.

Does suck.
Sorry i totally forgot to reply to this cuz im dumb lmao.

Yeah i actually read some of your diary during the time that this post was getting absolutely no response. And it made me feel a little better knowing that someone else had a similar experience, as bad as that sounds.

If you don't mind me asking, do those nightmares feel like nightmares when you're having them? Cuz mine really don't.
 

Innordinate

MyPTSD Pro
do those nightmares feel like nightmares when you're having them
the nightmare/fantasy ones? no. not at all.
which adds a whole other layer of shame, disgust, and confusion to the matter. :bag:
nope, they're pretty much pleasant fantasy dreams ??

And it made me feel a little better knowing that someone else had a similar experience, as bad as that sounds.
doesn't sound bad, makes complete sense.
 

lostforgottensoul

MyPTSD Pro
I wouldn't make too much out of your dreams. Its just how your brain is processing stuff. I know it's easy to feel shameful about it but my therapist and I worked a lot on this area and he made me feel very at easy with this. Even with maladative daydreaming (even sexual ones about him) because it's the only way for me to feel safe right now. The brain is a very intresting organ but dreams are not something you can control thus no need to feel shame over it.

Do you have a therapist? Would be a great topic to bring up to them if so. Start working on this with them to help you on how you feel about your dreams as a whole.
 

Montgomery

Learning
I wouldn't make too much out of your dreams. Its just how your brain is processing stuff. I know it's easy to feel shameful about it but my therapist and I worked a lot on this area and he made me feel very at easy with this. Even with maladative daydreaming (even sexual ones about him) because it's the only way for me to feel safe right now. The brain is a very intresting organ but dreams are not something you can control thus no need to feel shame over it.

Do you have a therapist? Would be a great topic to bring up to them if so. Start working on this with them to help you on how you feel about your dreams as a whole.
Yeah i do and i've mentioned it but she didn't seem to know much about dreams or she just didn't think it was very important.
She's not a trauma specialist thought, on the waiting list for that.
 

lostforgottensoul

MyPTSD Pro
Interpreting dreams is a bit like reading your horoscope, which is why she probably didn’t go there;)

I didn't mean to read the dreams. Sorry, didn't mean to come across that way. I meant your feelings about the dreams. Shame and so forth. And why one has "good dreams" about an abuser would be helpful to. How the brain processes "good thoughts" about an abuser also plays into dreams.

But yes, "reading dreams" is useless.
 

AJ45

Confident
Hate that so many people have been hurt thread put me into tears. This world as beautiful as it can be (people say) its also he'll. Im sorry all much love to every single one of you <3

the nightmare/fantasy ones? no. not at all.
which adds a whole other layer of shame, disgust, and confusion to the matter. :bag:
nope, they're pretty much pleasant fantasy dreams ??


doesn't sound bad, makes complete sense.
Hell yea and when society portrays arousal etc as good makes you feel worse that body reacts/reacted in that way
 

AliciaEff

Confident
The thing is though, i didn't really have good times with my ex. Especially not sexually. I never enjoyed it.
I think the confusion comes from not realizing it was abuse or "assault" until months later.

For every sexual encounter i was dissociating, uncomfortable and in pain. Certain bodily functions even stopped working.
So it's really weird that when im dreaming of him im so at ease, in love, happy and safe.

The theory that my brain is trying to minimize or romanticize these events and this relationship is making a lot of sense...

Not sure how to easily quote less, sorry, but I was the same way. Abuse was my first “experience” of sex. I did like my abuser at one point and I really was happy to be in a relationship with him, but I wanted the physical part to be really slow so I don’t ever recall sexual contact that wasn’t assault.

It took me years to realize what assault was (I just thought it was normal relationship miscommunication) and another year to realize it was abuse.

I have all types of dreams. Nightmares that don’t involve my abuser, nightmares where I am specifically being chased by my abuser, bad dreams where my abuser is near by but tolerated, and regular dreams where I am friends with my abuser that don’t feel bad until I wake up. I think this is quite common as many people have said. It’s gross to deal with, but it doesn’t mean anything beyond: brains are weird.
 

TillyBug

New Here
I wasn't even in a relationship with the last guy who assaulted me but I still have dreams like that. I always wake up feeling like I'm about to puke. It is such a huge relief to know I'm not alone though.
 
Top