Having More Than One Way Of Remembering

[Meadowsweet]

When Ive experienced abuses, I remember the facts, but mostly from a detached perspective. But I think part of my reaction is to disbelieve or minimise the severity of situations. And people I've had around me at those times have also wanted to minimise it or 'help' me see my fault in causing the situation.

So sometimes I slip into the minimising perception of the situation and am scared that I'm making a fuss. Or sometimes I slip into a perception where I feel a soladarity and protectiveness of the abuser or enablers.

I've been trying to write something down for therapy and I feel like I'm betraying people who would have been so wonderful if only I'd have been better.

I know its not right thinking, but it is how I'm feeling. At the moment, I'm rationalising the feeling. But sometimes I slip into believing it and don't know I'm there until my perception suddenly changes.

I'm worried about how this will effect how I share with my therapist. Does anyone else do this?

 

[Zef]

I've minimized most of life. . .and it was t who has actually helped me do this less. She has lots of experience and must have detected that I was minimizing and being too understanding of my abusers.

I would suggest you just give your above post to the therapist. I think it would help him/her/them to understand and allow them to provide better assistance. They should know to look for it and help give you skills to identify it yourself when it happens.

 

[intothelight]

Meadowsweet,

Sometimes, just writing out the facts is a good starting place. Later you can go back and talk about how you felt at the time. For me, I couldn't write and include the emotions connected the first time around.

But once I had written it out, almost in a report format; then I could go back, break it down and flesh it out.

Hope this helps.
Deb

 

[Meadowsweet]

Zef, yes I think you're right. I hadn't thought of that. Thanks.

Intothelight, at the moment she's just asked me to write a timeline of events. So I've not gone into too much detail. I'm not sure if she'll ask me to say more about it in our session.

It just occurred to me though, that my physical symptoms tend to show how I'm feeling more than my words do. So it might be that I won't minimise in therapy because she'll be confronting me with the real issues.