Healing Touch...?

[Damask]

I am a licensed practicing massage therapist and have run across many many people from ALL walks of life on my table. Many people have many different views about the ability of touch to 'heal' us as human beings. Many many studies have been done on this from the tragic story of Romanian orphans to highly esoteric studies of the energy or 'chi' manipulation practiced by Tibetan monks.

My question is how do you as sufferers want your 'therapist' to approach you? When you are attempting to work on your issue(s), from wherever they stem, what do you want the person working with you to do or say? Do you want them to tell you everything they are going to do and ask permission(s) as they go? Do you want the entire session laid out before you and then you can just say when you want the session to stop? Do some of you not want to be touched at all and prefer to be the one that initiates the contact?

I know that everyone has different triggers for different reasons but I am curious what each of you prefer in general for those that can share that information.

I hope that makes sense. Thank you all for your input.

 

[Lucycat]

The whole concept of massage terrifies me. I have no touch with my therapist. Even if he is passing me a piece of paper I make sure we don't touch. From day one he promised he would not touch me and has been true to his word.

I am sure it works for others - and I must say I have felt jealous when I see people on tv and the like relaxing with a massage - I just don't think it is for me. I would need to learn how to relax first, before learning relax and touch together.

 

[mrsps]

I like touch, but only from certain people. I get a hug from my T after each session. There have been a couple of times when I haven't got a hug and am disappointed. But I kinda see my T as a mother figure which is why I like hugs from her as I never really got hugs from my mum. But I don't like it when you met random people and they want to hug.

 

[Sammyiam]

I cannot stand any touch, as soon as anyone goes near me I start sweating like I've just stepped out of the shower hands feet back arms you name it, I have been going to a physiotherapist and it has taken a long time for me to build up trust for her to be able to touch, she reminds me to breath which sounds silly but I forget to breath. She lets me keep my tee shirt on when I'm feeling bad and she doesn't make any sudden movements. She always tells me what she is going to do in a soft voice and talks about how I am doing which helps her know where I am at. She asks about my psychologist and what we are working on so it helps her as well. I have seen her on and off for a few years a few months at a time. I have a shoulder and neck that is permanently damaged and causes a great deal of pain. She lets me out of appointments if I just can't do it and just rebooks them but I very really so it if I can help it as I know it puts her out. She never looks down at me about scares etc and just talks open about things and reassures me I'm ok. I think the main thing is that she treats me like she would a friend or a family member and cares, not just another number and has the time to talk about things. That is the biggest thing she doesn't look down at me she makes me feel welcome and goes that extra mile. I suffer from PTSD, anxiety, depression, DID, and just scared of most things. I'm not sure if I have written what you are after and I'm sorry if it isn't what you were looking for .
Thanks for trying to help people like me.

 

[Jane.l]

I am actually mostly ok with touch - I have an osteopath who I have been with for many many years, I have back problems from getting hit by a car as a teenager, he treats all his patients fully clothed - he also has no idea about my history or the problems I have now - which actually for me makes it easier I am only there half an hour and I trust him after all this time - he also has a wicked sense of humour which helps .

I also see an acupuncturist - who is aware of some of what's going on - infact because it's a holistic treatment they treat you as a whole and I kind of used him as a T when I first starting seeing him until he said I really had to get to a professional T ASAP because he was in way over his head but he was a useful stepping stone to get myself to go to therapy. With my acupuncturist - he tells me what he is going to do before treatment - he knows there are certain things he can't do or I will get triggered - he checks I am ok a lot, I have got quite dissociated there sometimes , so we've talked about what I need if that happens - have also had a major panic attack in the treatment room - took me a few months to go back after that , even though he handled it well.

I think knowing what to expect really helps - having the conversation about what's off limits - knowing what's helpful and what's going to make it worse if it all goes a bit pear shaped have kept me going back .

 

[Friday]

I adore touch, honestly can't get enough. I'm sitting here drumming my fingers on my ankle as I read, crank music up loud enough to feel in my bones, do a lot of high contact sports, when I'm not isolating am usually the person sprawled across everyone else. I need touch. Crave it.

I have a few conditioned responses I've mostly managed to blunt over the years that do crop up from time to time. I forget about these until something happens when I'm not expecting it, and the knee jerk comes back full force. Whoops.

Personally, I need pretty rough handling, and clear direction. I sometimes (he lives out of state, I visit when I'm in the neighborhood) have an LMP who will take my arm and shake it "Stop. Stop helping." Or when I'm clearly protecting some area and not even aware taps me on the head. "Hello. If it hurts I need to know where." And starts listing off muscles, muscle groups and nerves as he's tracing them. You & I both know he doesn't really need me to verbalize it, muscles talk. But it's part of the dialogue / interaction / awareness. He also pushes my boundaries, hard. But he's also okay if I lash out before I can stop myself. Cocky bastard. Good people.

He mostly works with athletes and prior military. So I think that's pretty key, there. Is your target audience likely to be used to ignoring pain and lashing out when triggered? Or ...

 

[Justmehere]

Very good questions. I would like a massage therapist to ask me how I want to proceed - if I want them to tell me everything or just a few things or etc.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Damask ...welcome aboard, sincerely.

My question is how do you as sufferers want your 'therapist' to approach you?

May I ask you please, do you have PTSD too? I do not understand exactly if it was a comfort zone of opening conversation for you or you came in for research.

Respectfully, I thank you for any consideration with regard to this inquiry.

 

[greenleaf]

The previous responses make it even more clear to me just how different trauma survivors can be, and this is only a tiny sample.

I've been getting almost weekly therapeutic massages from a wonderful woman. I mostly don't seem to have trouble with touch; it's more visual cues with motion toward my head that seem to get me...

The touch is really wonderful and has been so helpful... I have apparently stored loads of emotions in various muscles for decades, and recently my body started to rebel. I had no clue I was doing this -- just thought my muscles were unusually tight, I was just a bit different from some folks.

It's helpful for me if she is gentle; I think she's doing some cranio-sacral sorts of stuff but also working on the tight areas. Slowly if she's working on a neck or shoulder spot, I've started to get tingling in the tight, numb areas, then a sort of itching, and whole contexts from my earlier life have been coming back. I need to focus on what she's doing in a spot. Over time I find I have better motion and overall sensation in those areas. Am also getting physical therapy but am fortunate to have great health coverage.

Even though the muscles are really tight, I think my brain is the "problem" as I will tighten the spot right back up in a few hours unless the emotion/emotional memory has sort of slowly come out already. That's taken months. So someone pushing hard on the muscle doesn't help, the safety and paying attention are better.

I discovered have many "trigger points" that I'd ignored. I also exercise a lot, so I may have avoided some nastier muscle issues that some folks get, inadvertently -- the exercise makes me feel much better though so it's been easy for me to keep up. My best habit!

The massage seems to make me feel safer physically. The abuse I remember was mostly physical, I'm sure that makes a difference between folks here too.

So, re. what she has asked and done that's been helpful... she's been very sensitive to my feedback, and started slow, and not invalidated anything I'm feeling or saying, but also not getting freaked out by me (I have fears of being "different" and losing connections to positive people)... I can't answer for others though, I have never watched another ptsd person get massage.

Thank you for asking here, I'm sure your clients appreciate your efforts very much.

 

[desiderata310]

I can't do touch at all. I wish I could.

 

[Loveneverfails]

Asking each client individually when you know of a history of trauma would probably be best. As you can see our reactions vary wildly. Personally I don't think a person with a need to avoid touch would be likely to seek out massage so perhaps that worry can be laid to rest. When it comes to touching someone who is seeking it- knowing their trigger areas would be vital. It seems likely they would tell you beforehand or that you would probably be able to guess those areas pretty well as a professional. In my experience with my trauma counselor, the one time I allowed him to touch me was enough to realize I can't be touched in therapy at all. My trust is too shaky a thing to try it. But massage seems like it would be a nice experience. Most people know what to expect going in and there are clear lines of what and how a client can be touched and those clearly defined boundaries can make all the difference to people who have had them crossed or abused in other situations in the past.

 

[Damask]

Thank you all for your insightful responses. They help tremendously.

To answer the question @Recovery4Me asked, I am not a sufferer, I just have two people in my life that are. In regards to why I asked the question, it is because, I live and work in Las Vegas, I run across people who often are pushing their boundaries. The strip personifies letting loose and has the illusion that there are no consequences for wild and ridiculous behavior. The 10 year old slogan of "What happens in Vegas..." is both the boon and bane of this city. Some People go ape wild when they come here and engage in behaviors they generally would not do. Sometimes that includes a trip to the spa. Sometimes it is because a family member or best friend purchased a service for them, despite their best wishes. Sometimes they will be highly intoxicated, which most of the time I will refuse service to, however as I am sure many of you know, some people can hide those things quite well. Half way though a treatment things start to move around and relax or awareness heightens and things go wrong.

I also asked the question because I have been considering expanding my practice to other areas and / or volunteering for hospitals or shelters. I want to educate myself fully before pursuing any of my endeavors. :)