Hello from Stephen (Trauma Sufferer)

[Stephen]

Hello everyone, Stephen from England here. I lost my business that i loved and then my mum and have been through the most dreadful time over the past 7 years. Suffocating in trains, screaming on planes, losing the respect of everyone, grasping for their attention unnaturally, giving everything and receiving nothing, losing my jobs and falling into a very dark place.

I am not sure if i have PTSD because i have been having counselling for 1 year and am on anti-depressants and i have never actually been in a war (God bless those who have). But i feel like i have been fighting in a war for years and understand the mind of a terrorist (although i would repress that).

Does anyone feel the same and do you think i might have PTSD?

There is very little help in my country unless you are a celebrity, so i would welcome any advice.
Love & Light
Stephen

 

[TLight]

Welcome Stephen;

So sorry you are going thru such a tough time. What has your T diagnosed you with?

Can't remember, are you on meds?

Stick with the therapy is my advice. Find a support group for depression. Check out the symptoms of PTSD to see if it fits. Check out the symptoms of bi-polar too.

There is no shame in this, and just so you don't feel alone, I've felt like exploding all over people too..........you know what I mean. But it is just because you are suffering.
Embrace the pain inside. Love it if you can, feel it. It's hard for men, I know. Keep up with therapy. If it's not going anywhere, find another T.

Hang in there.........

 

[TLight]

ps, do you think you've had a chance to grieve the passing of your Mom? The anger may be coming from the grief. Sounds like she was a big part of your life.

 

[upstream]

Welcome Stephen, I can relate. Hope you find help here...

 

[tude]

Stephen, welcome...

 

[Deleted member 541]

Steven,

Welcome to the forum.

 

[shadowmedic]

welcome stephen,
i do know that ptsd comes in several different forms and is aquired in several different ways. like me for example, i have spent two tours in iraq. i have never been physically wounded by the enemy as far as how i got ptsd. my ptsd occurred because i am a medic that has to treat the combat injuries of the wounded. for some people, it is different. some people have gotten ptsd due to direct trauma. i recommend that you definately check out the website a bit more and talk to some of these people. they are definately a wealth of knowledge and a spotlight in what seems like a world of darkness. respectfully, SM

 

[Stephen]

Thank you to everyone for their loving words. I feel that all must trully know what it is like. I can't even think of imagining what those brave soldiers must be going through.

My own PTSD was caused by losses which lead to an immense rage inside and then going to war with my employment situation, which lead to anxiety and panic attacks. Finally collapsing in an emotional state and becoming virtually unemployable.

Anyway, i will definately speak to as many friends as possible on this forum and hopefully get back to somewhere near normal.

Love & Light
Stephen

 

[Stephen]

ps, do you think you've had a chance to grieve the passing of your Mom? The anger may be coming from the grief. Sounds like she was a big part of your life.

You are right TLight. My mum was a big part of my life and i didn't have a chance to grief for her. This causes shame and all sorts of emotions.
There were many other losses which i had repressed (even those in my childhood) and kept on living through them over the years, until i finally collapsed. They always come back to haunt you.

 

[shelly82]

Hey Stephen,

I have an uncle who went through a failing business and a divorce at the same time. He went throught a pretty serious depression and was on meds for a while. Lucky for him though my other uncles and aunts were very supportive. It's been a few years, he's not completely perfect but he's doing much better. I hope hearing that helps.

 

[Stephen]

That does help Shelly, Thanks!

If only to say that someone else had a similar problem to me and that you and other relatives are willing to believe that your uncle was ill. Many people think that you cannot get ill over such things and it is good to hear a story that shows such sensitivity.

Thank you,

Stephen

 

[morgan]

hello Stephen, welcome to the forum!