Hi acp- I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this.
I have a 20 year old brother whom I took over raising after our mother died 6 years ago. While I joined this forum because I have a significant other who is suffering with combat PTSD, in all that I have been reading and learning throughout this process, I also see that my brother has signs and symptoms of PTSD as well, although not diagnosed. I've been stumped for so long as to why he seemingly doesn't care about me or the rest of my family... but I've come to understand him on such a different level since immersing myself in learning about PTSD.
So to answer your question, I am going to say yes - I have been living with a 20 year old who is showing ptsd signs and can relate to what you say about emotional abuse. While I wouldn't label it as severe, I will say that it is incredibly tough to watch someone you love so much, be so disconnected and express that they simply just don't share those same feelings towards you. My brother is adopted, so I always felt that some of his disconnectedness had to do with that, but he was adopted at 3 days old so I'm not sure that's actually the case since he has never known anything other than the love of our family. Sure, he's had a rough go at it with adoption struggles, divorce and then his mom dying when he was only 14. But he's been so lucky to have myself and older brother and all of our extended family who are all very close and shower him with love and have always been in his corner despite his wrong-doings and troubles throughout the years. He's been anything but easy but we've always been his number 1 supporter. So it's HARD to have that door slammed in my face time and time again and to be told that he doesn't care about me.
In reading on this forum, doing research on PTSD myself, through my own therapy and in speaking with professionals in behavior and psychology, I've learned that it's not uncommon for sufferers to isolate, disconnect and have anger and resentment -- ESPECIALLY towards those who love them the most. While I cannot speak for your 20-something sufferer, I can speak generally in that it can be completely and utterly overwhelming for a sufferer to have people tell them they love them and want to be there for them. A sufferer can feel like they don't deserve the love they are being given, they may feel such anger and hatred towards themselves that they simply cannot see the love and support that is there for them. Controlling behaviors are also common as in many aspects of their life, they feel out of control -- so controlling you from being able to see his daughter - that, he can control -- so sometimes, he will.
I am glad you are here. Because I am sure that what you will find here is that you are NOT alone in this. As you explore this forum, continue to reach out and talk to others, and read what others have posted, I guarantee that you will learn a tremendous amount about PTSD, how you can support your sufferer and how you can take care of yourself. The truth is that PTSD is HARD and it takes a huge toll on all who are involved. It's essential to seek support for yourself and you have found a great place of support here. I encourage you to keep reading, to continue to share your story and also, to even consider some therapy for yourself and your family so you can learn to navigate this to most effectively be able to take care of yourself while also supporting your sufferer.
I wish you the best.
