Hello Ptsd Yeah You Know Me

[richard a]

Hello I wrote something I thought was very brave of me lacking spelling mistakes, grammar a while back when I was diagnosed with ptsd. I felt like I had joined an exclusive club where someone looked me in the eyes and said you got ptsd man.

I feel very humble because my ptsd probably came from something which was bad but probably not to bad in other people eyes. I went to a great psychologist and she said I had complex ptsd. I ended up having to move back to home. I was with family because they helped me so much. I'm home now and I'm not getting the help I need. I checked myself into the local community mental health team. All they wanted to do was talk about my drinking and said they couldn't help me. Try mind charity, which are really good. I was struggling to function and I needed help and I asked for it. And it wasn't forthcoming.

I disagree with the term complex ptsd. It don't help anyone its just a polite way off saying you have Ptsd and probably bPd but we're going to call it complex Ptsd because its less stigmatizing. Less stigmatizing yeah but a confusing place to be put in. Don't make labels touchy feely, tell someone what's wrong with them so I can fight it.

With complex ptsd I was so confused. With ptsd and suspected bpd I'm like well that's great I know what I'm up against.

God bless all you people and have good days.

Respects, rich.

 

[Hashi]

Hi Rich,

Welcome to the forum.

When you say suspected BPD, I don't know if you mean the psychologist suspected that or if that's your feeling. Whichever you mean, this is not what complex PTSD means. In the UK complex PTSD means you experienced severe neglect or abuse as a child, or repeated violence or abuse as an adult, plus you have particular symptoms. People may have a personality disorder as well but if so that would be separate.

I think it's important not to self diagnose with a personality disorder (or any disorder). Psychologists don't say complex PTSD to be touchy feely, they are being specific. If they think you have a personality disorder as well, they'll tell you that. They don't use a different word instead. If you think you should have a BPD diagnosis and weren't given it, I'd talk to your GP about it and see if you can get another assessment. But remember that us looking up symptoms on the internet isn't reliable - it's up to professionals to decide the diagnosis, based on more than a list of symptoms.

The forum doesn't recognise the term complex PTSD anyway, because it's not part of any official definitions or criteria (although it's used in the UK in an official way). So you can just say PTSD if you don't like the phrase Complex PTSD.

I'm sorry you didn't get proper help from the mental health team, but to be honest I wouldn't expect good help from the NHS. They gave me zero help. However, I definitely suggest you contact Mind and other charities. I think it's also worth looking at counselling/treatment for your drinking if that's a problem.

You might need to try several places before getting help and I know that's difficult when struggling with PTSD. Can anyone in your family help you look for appropriate therapy/treatment in your current location?

 

[richard a]

Hiya Hashi

Yes I have been looking on the net and reading up about complex ptsd and probably been self diagnosing to an extent which is not healthy,and probably not doing me any favoures.

The thing is I'm just a bit lost because my psychologist said that I suffered from complex ptsd and the reason for this is because my mum suffers from bi polar affective disorder. And as I was growing up my mum would emotionally abuse me, often when she was drinking and would in effect tear me down to nothing, then build me back up then tear me back down again by saying she wished I was never born you get the picture just all manner of stuff a child shouldn't hear, I was also physically abused until I hit back at the age off 12.

Then was made to feel ashamed about it as she phoned all my family up and told them I attacked her, she forget to tell them that she had been kicking the shit out off me for about 10 minutes prior to that and I snapped, I also became her career in affect from the age off 5 when she would wake me up and get me involved with rows with my stepdad. Made me say horrible disgusting things to my stepdad even as a kid I was compelled by my mum to act on this.

I became my mums carer I had to deal with her frequent suicide attempts, then go to school after being up all night and then start crying when my french teacher asked me a question infront off the whole class.one night she was chocking to death on her own vomit don't ask me how I knew I just knew by the sound . And the thought went through my mind let her die and I thought yer I would of course. After a minute I sprinted into her bedroom threw her head to the side and was rewarded by loads off vomit all over me. She never knew I saved her life and how was I rewarded your useless pathetic wish you were never born. Then my stepdad, because he could only endure so much - he was a decent man and never hit my mother even through she would beat and reduce him to tears - started on me also and started putting me down as well as mum being accused of taking drugs when I wasn't ,got kicked out at the age off 14 and I ended up living in the woods. Them sas survival books came in handy. Tthis is just a brief eplanation off the stuff I went through I know many had it harder. But bottom line it f*cked me up and many more terrible things happened.

I really don't know why my past has come into play since I was diagnosed with ptsd it just has.I can remember the stuff but its all jumbled up in the time line .

All I know is my physiologist said I had complex ptsd. I had to move area and I emailed her and said what's wrong with me and this was her response after seeing her for 4 sessions.


Hi Richard
This is what I suggest you need to have a psychiatric assesment to have a diagnosis confirmed, physiologists cannot diagnose but what I have seen you are likely to have BPD. This label is very unhelpful within mental health services so some clinicians call it complexptsd. You will need to be seen by a psychotherapy service in Harlow after you stop drinking. Psychotherapy will be helpful to help you opening you about your early traumas. Addiction counsellors cannot do this piece of work because they are unlikely to be trained in this area.regards jana

And I'm on a year waiting list until I get help .

 

[Philippa]

I didn't realize that that is what mental health professionals think about complex PTSD richard. When I was diagnosed, I was told I had CPTSD, but I didn't believe it. Everything I had read about the two lead me to relate more to just plain old PTSD than CPTSD, and the people here that I related to had the diagnosis of just PTSD. I never knew that it was considered a more P.C way of saying the person has BPD, but a counselor at my art therapy course basically suggested that she thought it was possible that I was borderline, which only confused me more. I hate labels.

I didn't believe it for years because I always equated ptsd with veterans and war, and rape. I had experienced only sexual assault on a mild scale compared to some of the terrible stories of rape out there...so it was hard for me to take the diagnosis seriously. Even the emotional neglect and abuse I did experience did not seem like it was enough to "earn" me the label, but here I am.

I can totally understand your need to know what the hell the issue is though, without all the sugar coating. I'm starting to feel the same way myself...and that's after 10 years of thinking I have CPTSD, without any suggestion from the psychiatrist or psychologist on how to actually deal with it, other than wearing rubber bands on my finger to snap whenever I am feeling ungrounded.

 

[richard a]

Dear philippa

Bear in mind that was my physiologists view off what is going on with me but I was left a bit shocked and confused by that email. But at the same time she was dealing with my cousin who had recently been diagnosed with bpd.

I don't know your story but I feel the same way also in regards to veterans who have been through hell and back and I feel unworthy sometimes with my ptsd diagnoses. But if you went through emotional abuse and stuff I've read it interferes with the way you grow up so your in survival mode insteady off a healthy learning sort off mind set and when I got attacked and the bloke who done it murdered someone then all the shit what came back on me just broke something in me and I was no longer able to take stress.

I've also heard that complex ptsd is diagnosed if the trauma you faced was not your fault. At the end off the day I wish you all the best cptsd or bpd. I'm not ashamed to be diagnosed with any off them just want someone telling me what's going on.Best wishes to you,

regards richard