Sufferer Hello

[Shan57]

I am not sure where to start but here we go. I grew up with a mother who is a sociopath and my childhood could have been better. I was neglected as a child and abused. About 6 months ago my boyfriend left me and that lead to depression. The relationship was abusive. I have flashbacks and nightmares of all these things combined. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Depression. I would usually be okay but then I get flashes and my memories haunt me. I am afraid of sleeping because my nightmares are so intense I feel the pain physically and emotionally in reality. The only person who cares about me is my father whom is severely injured and hurt from the military and seeing him suffer takes its toll on me. Now I live in the town where all these things happened and I am slowly going crazy from seeing things that brings back haunting memories. I need an escape. Sometimes i have random thoughts of death. I have no idea what to do.

 

[Abraxas]

Hey Shan. Welcome. I just made an account here a few days ago. I'd been having suicidal and self harm thoughts crop up again. I know it can be terrifying when those thoughts come, but I think the worst thing you can do is keep them to yourself. It takes a hell of a lot of courage and strength to reach out and talk about what you're feeling, so I hope you can take pride in reaching out now.

I'm sorry for the pain, and the abuse you suffered. you don't deserve that. you're not alone. Sending you positive thoughts.

Remember, you're a person. Don't expect anything more from yourself. That's more than enough to deal with anything that comes your way. =)

 

[Mytime]

Welcome to the forum. Please look around and read,read,read. You are not alone.

 

[Shan57]

Hey Shan. Welcome. I just made an account here a few days ago. I'd been having suicidal and self harm th...

Thank you for the words. I'm sorry to hear about your pain but I am glad that you are coping with it. I'll try to be better. So far this site is fantastic. Blessings. :)

 

[Shan57]

Welcome to the forum. Please look around and read,read,read. You are not alone.

Thank you very much. :)

 

[Anarchy]

Hi shan,
Welcome to the forum!

Glad that you have found us
Sorry that you have a reason to find us.

 

[intothelight]

@Shan57 Welcome to the forum! :)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums :hug:

I hope this place helps, I also live in the same place my abuse happened

 

[seedling]

Welcome!
Are there trauma therapist services available near you? Have you been in therapy at all?

I am glad to hear that your father cares about you. That's a special bond.
Sorry to hear you have thoughts of death, those can be hard to fight against when they happen. Try to see them as another symptom, not something to be acted on.
Hang in there.