Medical Help: have you had this medical trauma? looking for support.

[Renegade26]

Hi friends,

I had a terrible experience when I was 7 years old. it was medical malpractice and medical trauma. What happened to me was erased from my medical records and also has left me with physical impairments. I wanted to reach out to this community in hopes of finding other people who may have had a similar experience. Ultimately, I'd really like 1) to have support and 2) to raise awareness and hopefully work at ways to prevent this happening to other individuals.

This is my experience.


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I was 7 years old. I had some medical issues with my vaginal area. The doctors assured my parents that this procedure (which doctors either did not disclose to them the name of the procedure or my parents forgot). I remember I was really excited because I thought I was going to be healed. They took me a floor or two under the hospital building (possible the basement?) into a lone metal room. The put me on this metal medical table and strapped me to it. They had me lying on the table with nothing but that thin paper dress thing on. There were for 4 doctors, both men and women, who held me down and forced a catheter into me. It burned like hell and I screamed and tried to wrestle my way out. They really pushed down on me to hold me down and continued forcing it into me, yelling at me to be quiet. They filled my bladder, and then forced me to pee on the table in front of them. As a 7 year old, this was very humiliating and frightening. I remember begging to die. I just wanted for the pain and humility to be over.

After that, I had a very weak bladder (6 years). Also, my reproductive organs were totally inflamed and worked incorrectly. I had many problems during puberty. I used to walk weird because of the way my reproductive organs had formed from the procedure. Every time I have a flashback, the pain that I experienced growing up comes back just as terribly and I am unable to walk uphill, up stairs, or long distances.

That was 13 years ago. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone until I blurted it out when I was 14 and then I was forced to take drugs to "correct my behavior". The doctors erased it from my medical records so I have no legal proof. I honestly think this was an act of maltreatment and abuse, and the fact that it's not on my record AT ALL proves it. They also said I didn't need it in the first place?? I never received any results from the procedure. I am just left with the physical and emotional trauma.



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Anyways, I am trying to find more people who have had this experience. I argue that it was sexual assault on a minor and medical malpractice on a minor. But because not many people know about experiences such as this, I am not able to get any resources for support groups. Also, I did not have any support as a child who underwent a traumatic event such as this. I did not find any support until 3 years ago when I was 17. I was silent about this for 11 years. I am so fortunate to have gotten support, otherwise I know I would not be where I am now. It's so terrible when people don't believe you because they've never heard of medical malpractice such as this.

Please, if you or someone you know experienced this, you don't have to share your experience with me, as it's very painful. I just ask that if you could affirm if this has happened to you or a similar experience? I just want to figure this out. I want to know what happened to me and why this happened.

Thank you so much.

 

[Kintsugi]

I haven't heard of this specifically, and I certainly haven't heard of a medical trauma like this being performed very recently, but I hope others here reach out to you if they've had something similar. It sounds maddening to have your experience buried and invalidated. I'm honestly pretty shocked. Have you talked to pediatric specialists who may have heard of this procedure?

 

[Renegade26]

I haven't heard of this specifically, and I certainly haven't heard of a medical trauma like this b...

Not yet, but that sounds like a really great idea! I found one other person who seemed to have a similar experience on another online source, but right when we got into contact online, the moderator took our comments down, which was really upsetting for me.

Right now, I am working on rebuilding my trust with the medical system. I am actually a public health student right now. one of my hopes is to try and figure this out. At the very least, make sure that possibly traumatic procedures are well explained to children and also that consent, unless the situation is one that is life threatening, is #1.... even then, some form of explanation to the child if it needs to be involuntarily.

Thank you so much.

 

[Renegade26]

Hi friends,

I had a terrible experience when I was 7 years old. it was medical malpractice and medi...

I do want to say, this was meant to be in there, but it got left out...

 

[Kintsugi]

I edited that disclaimer out of your post. We don't use trigger warnings here.

 

[Renegade26]

Oh okay! thank you!

 

[Friday]

Not my area, but what you describe sounds like part of the testing process for severe UTIs & Kidney infections. Over in parenting land it's a really common thing, since UTIs in young children are both very common, and far more damaging than they are in adults. The infection usually/often spreads to the kidneys, often scarring & damaging them, and can also spread to the reproductive organs (also scarring and damaging them), as well as to the bloodstream (sepsis).

Like I said, not my area, but I'd suspect the procedure name you're looking for is

• Voiding cystourethrogram is an x-ray of the bladder and urethra. To obtain a cystourethrogram, a dye, called contrast material, is injected through a catheter inserted into the urethra and passed through the bladder.

It's call voiding, because after the bladder is filled with the contrast, the patient urinates (voids, onto the table) while the X-rays are being taken. You'd need to be holding perfectly still for the entire procedure, or the X-rays would be unreadable. Hence the restraints.

Everything you're describing sounds like the results of a really bad UTI or bladder/kidney infection, rather than as a result of the procedure, though.

Not saying that they handled the procedure, well. Children's medicine has come a looooooong way, and we are über-spoiled by living next to one of the best children's hospitals in the country (where even for easy procedures, kids are handled really carefully, much less for scary & painful ones). But hardly all hospitals are built for kids from the ground up, nor know how to handle them.

 

[Kintsugi]

Looks like @Friday nailed it: Children's (Pediatric) Voiding Cystourethrogram

Edited to add: a Google search for the procedure plus the word "traumatic" brought up this post on our forum: Medical Induced Trauma
as well as a lot of other information from angry patients to scholarly articles about whether the procedure is traumatic.

 

[Deleted member 42121]

Ren,

Hi... all your post sounds really terrible:(

I wanted to respond because I have a SEVERE medical phobia. I actually scrolled past most of the description of your proceedure as I get very upset when reading or hearing about medical proceedures... but, I wanted to read your post... the phobic part is just me and not most people so don't take that personally. I think you got edited for having a warning but, you and I are probably thinkin' that was a great idea to have a warning on there! Lolz!

I did not have medical malpractice involved in my surgery so, I don't know what to say to you about that:( That completely sounds horrible.

I did want to tell you that when I had heart surgery in the eighties it was WAY before child-life specialists and child therapists... most large hospitals have that now to govern how children are treated because of these sensitivities... they had a BUNCH at Texas Children's Hospital when I volunteered there and if you go into pediatrics its worth a visit to see how they run that place. Its AMAZING! They even have their own radio station and an entire floor for play and crafts!

During my heart surgery... For "awake proceedures" I was just held down too as I screamed for help or was manually restrained in some fashion... thats just how it was done then... lots of testing... lots of scarry stuff... I was three. Its very scarry to go through and I can sympathize with you being traumatized from that experience. Many many years later I cannot be in any proceedure room without heavy, HEAVY sedation or being completely knocked out or I am a danger to myself and doctors (I have it in my record that I kicked a doctor in the face during a panic attack when he made a sudden move to touch me... bonus, I get any proceedure meds I want now!!!)... For the most simple proceedure and I need the elephant tranquilzers... at least ten times whats normal. I also have extreme phobia of dentists. I was over thirty the first time I was physically able to walk into a hospital myself, get a shot and drive myself home. Typically I need a designated deiver to go to a doctors office for anything more "scarry" than a stuffy nose!

Hoping you are able to help in the world of pediatrics! I had a lot of fun volunteering with the kids at Texas Children's and, kids need great people looking out for them who know what its like being a kid trapped in the hospital!

 

[walter mitty]

Ren,

Hi... all your post sounds really terrible:(

I wanted to respond because I have a SEVERE medical...

Hi Portia, thanks for your post. it can take some courage to state how crazy we feel inside when faced with what others do without thinking. I have a pretty extreme medical phobia too, and cannot go into an exam room without scanning (subconsciously) for potential weapons to use to defend myself. I get almost catatonic sometimes, and have to warn staff not to call 911 when they try and get a BP on me. My BP in the a medical setting can range from unreadable low (like 35/25) to sky high (like 230/120). A huge fear for many decades was getting in an accident, not being able to stop EMTs being called, and not being able to convince them to not touch me. Never happened, but would have been a bad deal for me and for them.

Glad you are here and talking about this stuff. I think we are a pretty small population, but we have alot to share.

 

[Deleted member 42121]

@walter mitty thanks for that... I didn't even think about the blood pressure! I have very low blood pressure to begin with and it sinks to abnormal levels when I have to enter a hospital even for the simplest things (although maybe not quite as low as you describe). I've had more than one nurse that became extremely alarmed when they realized how low BP was and also some who couldnt even read it.

I have the same issue/fear with the EMT/Emergency thing as its unexpected and I can't take pre-meds... as I also have tachycardia and a panic disorder which can raise my resting heartrate when triggered to 150-190 (once again, laying down) if I am not fully medicated on tranquilizers in addition to the catatonic/odd behavior and or extreme hyperventilating which is hugely problematic as I have been accused of drug use when having an emergency and having to rush to the ER. The drug use accusations (They probably think meth/speed) has delayed treatment in the past (when not at my normal doctor and no computer access to my medical files is possible)... this is despite having a gigantic scar on my chest and pointing too it and also having an enormous medical file I am happy to recite... they still need the "tox screen to come back first".

The doctor I face booted across the room as a (fully grown) teenager, was trying to "surprise" me with resetting a broken finger as he possibly saw how nervous I was and tought it would be better if he didn't let me think about it too much?!? How is that a good idea?WTF? Yeah, he went flying real good! Well, the best part of that was for years it must have been on the front page of my medical record because every doctor, nurse etc was SUPER kind, careful, considerate etc. I guess nobody wanted to get kicked in the face for awhile.

I also have the catatonic issue and although I had previously explained this to my boyfriend... why I need rides, heavy drugs etc... he really didn't understand untill he saw it for himself. He said "you really become a different person" and he finally understood it.

When I say medical "phobia" most people.. even nurses and doctors don't get it. Pretty much NOBODY likes going to the doctor or getting shots... and they liken me to every person that walks through the door saying they "hate going to the doctor" or are "afraid of shots"... my phobia is about like that times one-million.

Maybe we need a medical allert bracelet! But touching my wrist to read it is still too close! HA!

 

[Kintsugi]

Let's keep this thread on topic, please, no matter how much of a grin I got out of envisioning a 19-year-old med student getting punted... :rolleyes: