Relationship Help Me Through An Episode

[Citrusheights5]

Hello, I'm new here. I've been with my husband for 10 years and been dealing with PTSD for the whole time even though he was just recently diagnosed. Turns out it is more of c-PTSD started in childhood and layered with combat. Fun fun fun!

It's has been 4days and he is STILL picking fights. I had it out with him 2 nights ago let him get it all out and put my foot down about how I was feeling. . but I guess that wasn't enough. It is stupid things, mostly about how he assumes I feel about things, and how I am trying to tell him how to act. 2 days ago I told him my feeling were hurt by what he said . He said I'm too needy. I have feelings all over the place. He cannt deal with me anymore and he's leaving. I said if that is what you want I will accept it . He then yelled at me for not fighting for him!


Now He's not hearing my responses.. He's stuck in a loop in his head. I know it's ptsd and not something other because when I tried to put my hand on his arm as I said to him - I'm not angry really. He yelled that I was too close.

I'm out if patience. I've used it all up these past 4 days. I've been very careful not to back down when he was wrong , and this is new for him. Usually I will just apologize let him have the win and move on. But it is not working for me. I'm not coming at him, just not letting his assumptions be validated. Of course now he's pushing me to respond in kind so it can match the script in his head.

Please help me kept it up. Or let me know I'm handling it wrong!! What do you do when this happens? Should I just stay the hell away from him??

Thanks

 

[amethist]

Hi

Standing your ground and not backing down just to keep the peace is the right way to go.

Much as it is sometimes easier to just let it go, there are other times when "Just letting it go" becomes too hard to do.

Stick to your boundaries and do not let him rail road you into his way of thinking, he has to see you mean what you say and act on it himself, in the right way.

I have walked out and left my husband to argue with himself a few times, getting an apology when I have got back.

Stay strong and do what you feel is right for you, no matter what he throws at you.

 

[arfie]

When my patience is gone, I find somewhere else to be. I respect my human limits and look for ways to strengthen my own vulnerabilities. Live support groups, nature retreats and community centers are my own favorites. I have been on both sides of the PTSD coin and subscribe to the counsel of "Don't engage a psychosis" from both sides. On the sufferer side, engaging my episodes only strengthens and prolongs them. On the supporter side, engaging a psychosis is a ticket to going down the rabbit hole with them.

Gentle support, Citrus. Stay strong and stand your ground while you take care of you.

 

[Seaotter]

Breathe and go and do something for you :)

 

[Citrusheights5]

Thanks so much for the advice. It really helps to know that this is the right path..

Yesterday I got busy with the kids. I had a great time with them as well as a wonderful recharge.

Plan on doing the same today as long as I can manage it!

Thanks again