Loyal to him
New Here
I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I have done the research and read all I can about PTSD and the military, I have tried talking to my veteran, I've called the numbers, talked to family, and I just don't know what else to do.
He got back in 2008 from OEF Afghanistan. We were together through all of it, the deployment and all his time in the military, we were going to get married in september 2012, he was diagnosed with PTSD symptoms but stopped going to the VA for treatment, he was doing pretty good, moving on with our lives together and school. He just got diagnosed with survivors guilt this year too.
Everything was going pretty good, we were planning out wedding and life was great, never better, then in January 2012 he got out of the military, got offered a government job, realized he was graduating college, and by the end of February 2012 he had called off the wedding, the engagement, and our relationship, saying that he loved me, cared about me, that I was his only one, ect, but had to do this job alone.
We had still lived together for two months after and he became more and more distant, more and more shut off, started drinking more, sleeping on his gun, nightmares becoming worse, becoming paranoid that people were out to get him, among other things, but kept telling me that he loved me, but needed to do this alone and couldn't be in a relationhip right now.
I moved out at the end of April because I no longer could stay, his family and my family both agreed that it wasn't healthy for either of us and maybe me moving out is what he needed to open his eyes (for lack of a better term) and want to get help. His family, my family, and I had all suggested getting couples counseling and he refused and said there's nothing wrong with our relationship.
He has Been hiding everything from his friends and family. Only reason why his family knows what had happened is because I came to them because I was worried about him and his safety.
He lived alone in an empty town home for a month after I left, he pretty much camped out in the living room and drank a lot. He did graduate, how I don't know.
In that month I watched him deteriorate so much it was heart breaking, he moved in with his dad two weeks ago, he's told me he shut his emotions completely off about everything, doesn't care about himself, he was always so neat and particular hes not anymore, when he moved the town house was trashed, he's still drinking, started smoking, hanging with not a good crowd, his anger is getting worse just exploding out of no where, he's even more paranoid people where we work are now watching him, only the people I talk to, people are following him, he's said his heart and head isn't here, that he has nothing here, I've asked him well where is it at, he can't say.
He's forgetting momeries and/or how or what had happened, he blames me for how this has turned out, that I must be spreading rumors, I told him I definately am not, I don't know what he's talking about, I don't know of people we work with are talking crap to him or this is part of him being paranoid that people are watching him. He's completely shut off from me, our pets, his family, my family, his best friends, everyone.
He has told me that he hasn't told anyone anything about whats going on and I don't know why. He has told me I just can't say the words that you want to hear right now, I am another capable to work this out right now, I have to do this alone. I don't know what triggered it, and I'm very worried that if he doesn't get this job he will hurt himself, someone else, or both.
I don't want to give up, I'm ready to help, I'm trying to keep myself together to help him when he is ready. When he blames me for trying to take care of myself or better myself and that it's my fault its getting worse I feel not good enough, less than human.
This is/was the man I fell in love with saying this to me, it hurts so badly and breaks my heart and what's worse I can't do anything to help him, because he's not ready, he's in denial that there's something wrong. I hope this job he's going for will force him to get help or he sees that he needs it soon.
I feel like everyday I die more inside, I love him and care about him so much, I would take this struggle on for him if I could, I feel so helpless, I don't want to lose hope and it's just like everyday I am reminded of our dreams that are gone (I hope for now but will come back). I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, I don't know what else to do.
He has also forgotten his religion which was so important to him for his whole life, now that's gone too. It hurts so bady to watch someone you love so much just keep going down farther and farther and I can't do anything to help until he ready, he blames me, says he doesn't like people I talk to now (before he was friends with them too) and he doesn't like me talking to them.
I know I'm not alone and other people have it worse, I got that I really do, I just don't know what else to do, I don't want to give up, or move on from him, I truely feel like this is supposed to work itself out I just don't want to feel like its my fault anymore when I'm trying to do what's right.
If there are any questions please just ask, I might have left some stuff out.
He got back in 2008 from OEF Afghanistan. We were together through all of it, the deployment and all his time in the military, we were going to get married in september 2012, he was diagnosed with PTSD symptoms but stopped going to the VA for treatment, he was doing pretty good, moving on with our lives together and school. He just got diagnosed with survivors guilt this year too.
Everything was going pretty good, we were planning out wedding and life was great, never better, then in January 2012 he got out of the military, got offered a government job, realized he was graduating college, and by the end of February 2012 he had called off the wedding, the engagement, and our relationship, saying that he loved me, cared about me, that I was his only one, ect, but had to do this job alone.
We had still lived together for two months after and he became more and more distant, more and more shut off, started drinking more, sleeping on his gun, nightmares becoming worse, becoming paranoid that people were out to get him, among other things, but kept telling me that he loved me, but needed to do this alone and couldn't be in a relationhip right now.
I moved out at the end of April because I no longer could stay, his family and my family both agreed that it wasn't healthy for either of us and maybe me moving out is what he needed to open his eyes (for lack of a better term) and want to get help. His family, my family, and I had all suggested getting couples counseling and he refused and said there's nothing wrong with our relationship.
He has Been hiding everything from his friends and family. Only reason why his family knows what had happened is because I came to them because I was worried about him and his safety.
He lived alone in an empty town home for a month after I left, he pretty much camped out in the living room and drank a lot. He did graduate, how I don't know.
In that month I watched him deteriorate so much it was heart breaking, he moved in with his dad two weeks ago, he's told me he shut his emotions completely off about everything, doesn't care about himself, he was always so neat and particular hes not anymore, when he moved the town house was trashed, he's still drinking, started smoking, hanging with not a good crowd, his anger is getting worse just exploding out of no where, he's even more paranoid people where we work are now watching him, only the people I talk to, people are following him, he's said his heart and head isn't here, that he has nothing here, I've asked him well where is it at, he can't say.
He's forgetting momeries and/or how or what had happened, he blames me for how this has turned out, that I must be spreading rumors, I told him I definately am not, I don't know what he's talking about, I don't know of people we work with are talking crap to him or this is part of him being paranoid that people are watching him. He's completely shut off from me, our pets, his family, my family, his best friends, everyone.
He has told me that he hasn't told anyone anything about whats going on and I don't know why. He has told me I just can't say the words that you want to hear right now, I am another capable to work this out right now, I have to do this alone. I don't know what triggered it, and I'm very worried that if he doesn't get this job he will hurt himself, someone else, or both.
I don't want to give up, I'm ready to help, I'm trying to keep myself together to help him when he is ready. When he blames me for trying to take care of myself or better myself and that it's my fault its getting worse I feel not good enough, less than human.
This is/was the man I fell in love with saying this to me, it hurts so badly and breaks my heart and what's worse I can't do anything to help him, because he's not ready, he's in denial that there's something wrong. I hope this job he's going for will force him to get help or he sees that he needs it soon.
I feel like everyday I die more inside, I love him and care about him so much, I would take this struggle on for him if I could, I feel so helpless, I don't want to lose hope and it's just like everyday I am reminded of our dreams that are gone (I hope for now but will come back). I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, I don't know what else to do.
He has also forgotten his religion which was so important to him for his whole life, now that's gone too. It hurts so bady to watch someone you love so much just keep going down farther and farther and I can't do anything to help until he ready, he blames me, says he doesn't like people I talk to now (before he was friends with them too) and he doesn't like me talking to them.
I know I'm not alone and other people have it worse, I got that I really do, I just don't know what else to do, I don't want to give up, or move on from him, I truely feel like this is supposed to work itself out I just don't want to feel like its my fault anymore when I'm trying to do what's right.
If there are any questions please just ask, I might have left some stuff out.
