HELP!! Santa Is High-pomanic (LOL)- Any Suggestions?

[JohnnyM53]

Howdee all.

First, thanks to all of you who read, comment and contributed to the Dr. Doppemhiyer's Clinic thread. So far, it's had 1289 hits in less than a month!!!

Last year in my city, our mood disorder support group needed someone to play Santa and hand out gifts at our Christmas dinner.

We had no one and so I got an idea.

People with mental illness often feel different from those who don't. So what if Santa showed up depressed? What? Jolly ol' Saint Nick himself suffers from depression? Well yes - and it's so common, there's even a manual - the DSM (Depressed Santas Manual).

And so I did a 10 minutes skit as a depressed Santa and it went over really well.

Our support group asked if I would play Santa again this year.

I said yes, but that this year, Santa was not going to be depressed. He was gonna by high as kyte due to being over medicated.

And so Santa is going to make his entrance like Tom Cruise in Risky Business (sliding on the floor), slip and fall on my back (do a break fall which I know how to do) and behave during the party, in such a (high) way that you would think Jim Carey in The Mask was in the santa suit...minus the long tongue of course...lol

So here's where I need help.

One thing I will do is jump (unexpectedly) on someone's lap, kiss them, and get up and run all over the room. I'll also talk about how "wonderful I feel since going on meds.

So if you have any one liners, ideas, suggestions that a very over-medicated Snata could say or do in front of a crowd of 100+ people, I'd love to hear your ideas!

Thanks all!

Johnny

 

[ISupportHer]

I will think about this.

Hmmmmm. Wonder if I can come up with something.

Hmmmmm, do you think I will?

Hmmmmm, Bet I can.

Hmmmmm, yup, just try and stop me!

:rofl:
ISH

 

[ISupportHer]

OK, how about the meds causing the hyperactivity but ALSO paranoia.

Santa thinking:

"I better watch out, I better not........"
and
"Why am I getting all these letters? Are they out to get me?"
and
that is why we cannot find the Nort Pole. He's paranoid and has it hidden.

As for the hyperactivity, have Santa carrying the biggest cup of coffee you can find. Santa has to be in thousands of places at once and needs a boost.

Stll thinking of other stuff!

:rofl:

ISH

 

[amethist]

Hyperactivity can cause weight loss, so you suit has to be way too big round the waist, like a clown would have. In which you could carry stuff you think you might forget with all that rushing around, plus keeping all your stuff close as paranoia makes you believe others are out to steel it from you.

Including stuff like Rudolf's carrots, multiple travel documents in case you get stopped for speeding in which ever country you are in at the time. Spare over sized keys to start the slay in case the reindeers go on strike.

Plus with ISH coffee your into Super Hyper before you even start.

Amethist

 

[JohnnyM53]

Thank you thank you Amethist and ISH for your suggestions!

I wrote a song for my Santa skit at our mood disorder group's xmas party and may throw in some props (like Dan Ackroyd did in Trading Places).

Here Comes Santa Claus
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
He’s a bit psychotic today.
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeers,
Thinks he’s lost his way.
Bells are ringing, children signing,
They think Santa’s all right.
But hide your steak knives, say your prayers,
Cause Santa’s kind of manic tonight!

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Back from pharmaceutical lane.
He's got a bag that's filled with meds,
For people like you in pain.
Hear those sleigh bells, jingle jangle,
Oh what a beautiful sight.
But jump in bed and cover your head,
Cuzz he’s over medicated tonight!

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
No more emotional pain.
He doesn't care if he’s in a psychosis,
Or certified insane.
Santa knows you’re screwed up too,
Your case is kind of airtight.
But just fill your head up with his meds,
And you’ll feel higher than a kite!

 

[becvan]

:rofl:OMG that is priceless! What a great song.. now I'm going to be humming it for days.....

bec

 

[JohnnyM53]

And just for you Forum members:

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus
They say he's got PTSDeeee.
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus
He's now on disabiliteee.
And Santa knows he can’t deliver like,
Without some beer tonight.
So screw the cookies and the milk
And leave him a Bud Lighttttttttttttttttttt!

 

[2quilt]

You have GOT to copywrite your version of that song and sell it. You are so very talented! Radio stations would kill for your version.
Take pictures of Santa, and maybe video to post here, and the other question I have for Santa is, how does he know which houses contain kids who believe in him, and skip the Jewish homes?

 

[JohnnyM53]

Well thank you thank you 2Q (too cute?).

Awww yes - well this situation applies to all non-Christian faiths, atheists and agnostics.

It's a piece of cake. I have an onboard Star system in my sleigh, and each time I pass a home with Christian children, the icon of three wise men and virgin (don't ask) appears on the Star system's screen. It also comes with an audio version of a little drummer boy, parrapapapum.

 

[tryintobreathe]

I love the song! I love the idea of an insane Santa too! Keep up the great work!!

Jen

 

[2quilt]

I have to ask about the virgin's icon. I have to.
Describe it. I have to know what a virgin's icon looks like.

 

[JohnnyM53]

You had to didn't ya; didn't ya. It's an icon of Doc Doppemhiyer. He's not proud to admit it but he's virgin.