Help therapist slammed down boundaries

[Renee]

Hi,
I feel like I am having a slight problem in therapy and I wonder if anyone can please answer me. I have have PTSD. I am going through psychoanalysis as a last resort to help myself. I have barely contacted my T during this last year. My T was being nice to me and doing a few things in Therapy to make me feel more comfortable. Like he would move the furniture because when he moved to his new place because the arrangement wasn't comfortable. I would help move it and move it back. I felt secure when his chair was more near the couch that I lay down in to do psychoanalysis. He also offered me to borrow a book. So I did. Sence it is so intense I only called him 2 times in a year, but not because I was going to hurt myself. He told me I could email him anytime but I did only like 5 times on a year. All of a sudden he will not have me comfortable in session with moving the chair, he wants his book back and told me never to email him or call him ever again. I have heard many times therapist doing this to patients. It really hurt my feeling, especially when I have hardly ever bothered him outside of therapy. I asked him why he is doing this all of a sudden and his only reply was he thought it was best to do it. Why do therapists suddenly pull back like that with their patients? I can't think of anything I did wrong. And he told me I didn't do anything wrong. Is there some kind of psychological stuff that they do this on purpose? I am hurt and feel like quitting. Thank you

 

[Deleted member 42665]

I am sorry this happened, I personally have not experienced it but I have read countless stories and very much have this fear, he is constantly reminding me, the boundaries are not changing, we will discuss it before if anything does and we will discuss why etc... I trust him for that.

I have no idea why they do this, it honestly sucks, I know me personally if it happens, it would greatly shake my trust in him.

 

[EveHarrington]

Those are RIGID boundaries.

We talk a lot about boundaries here but nothing is ever said about exactly what is healthy.

But yeah, rigid boundaries are just as bad as porous boundaries. The healthy stuff is somewhere in between.

 

[Swift]

Hey. I'm sorry this happened.
It sounds rough.
I don't mean to discount your feelings, but have you maybe considered that this is about him and his personal life? A lot of people can't do psychiatry. They just need to not do it, for self preservations sake. Maybe he's depressed, or he's struggling, and he's putting in boundaries not about you, but about him.My parents are doctors. My mum had to quit medicine for a few years, and my dad didn't do a psych term because he thought he couldn't handle it. He wrote essays, won prizes and went to Austria to bargain for not having to do it. When he comes home, he sets his phone to "do not disturb" except for family, when he's not on call. My mum's boss (dad has Mum's work number saved as 'mum') rang in the middle of the night, and he picked up the phone with "hello darling. I thought you were in bed!"
To which mum's (female) boss replied, "well, that wasn't quite what I was expecting"
Dad was mortified.

To me, reading your post, it feels like he's just slammed them down with a loud Bang!!!
And then you're left wondering what it is about you, or what you did, or stuff.
And that's fair. It just feels a bit bewildering to me? Like, he's said one thing is ok, then you've done that, then he says the first thing is not OK so you do the second thing, and then he says nothing's okay, at all, ever?
And yeah, boundaries are hard and weird and stuff.
Anyway, I'm not excusing, I just think it's worth thinking about