Mrs C, I don't know your husband, or your situation, so I am only talking hypothetically here. But from a PTSD sufferers point of view, this threat of divorce is less likely to be about you personally, or about getting his own way and more likely to be a cry of frustration.
He might be well aware that his sickness is hurting his family. He might see it that his weakness, his inability to just let go, his failure to deal with things or to just get better etc are hurting his family, because thats how PTSD feels. So he may be feeling pressure to be the man he used to be or the man he thinks you deserve.And though he may want to be with his family, the idea of divorce might take the added pressure of not being good enough off him. And maybe he can't give you an answer, because he can't understand why he is feeling that way yet.
He might also feel numb to any feelings. Its not that the feelings aren't there, its just the brains way of getting through survival situations. Other people may see that there is nothing to survive, he's safe at home with his family, but PTSD doesn't allow him to see that. With PTSD a person lives with an altered sense of reality.
In terms of not attending his appointments, ofcourse he needs to take those steps to help himself. But it may be that he can't yet comprehend that something happened that has changed everything. I went for some years believing in the old adage that time is a great healer and it gave me hope. PTSD brings the knowledge that time didn't heal and just made things worse and that can take time to accept. And then, the treatment is likely to involve feelings of re-experiencing trauma. He needs to go, but an intense fear of the appointments is also understandable. The most useful thing anyone ever said to help me was "what do you think will help", because it is quite important for me to feel in control and to not feel forced into going back to my trauma.
PTSD is a really difficult disorder for everybody and it effects everybody differently. But I think getting as much information about what the mind is doing is helpful to both the sufferer and their family or friends. Ive tried to give a sufferers point of view here, but I don't wish to dismiss how you must be feeling going through this. You are human too, and as he has lost the man he used to be, you've lost the old him too. But I think you will be able to find lots of support and understanding from a supporters point of view in the supporters section.
