Hi From Central Pa

[anni]

I'm an incredibly poor contributer here, if starting threads is any measure- my last one no doubt being ' Hi, I'm Anni Is My Tinfoil Hat An Indication Of PTSD? '. I forget how many I received in the mail but thanks, some of them fit and the Mother Ship hasn't been parked over the house lately.

I haven't been able to spend enough time in the last 2 days to stop and say THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, as in For Real, to every, single Peach and Pearl ( hee ) who has soooo kindly said 'welcome back'. It's awfully, awfully humbling- not that I have anything measuring greater than the size of a zit by way of an ego, it's just I've never gotten used to plain old kindness or the thought it's at all deserved, not sure I ever will. You people allowed my head to GO there, it's kind of a delightful planet. Please don't think I'm out here feeling there's some parade I felt would occur- hee- 'Oh look, roll out the band, Anni's back! '. Anyone who remembers at least knows I'm far more likely to have stuffed my hair under a hat and snuck in through the locked back door somewhere. I'm only doing a thread because I haven't had the sheer time to say OMG HIIIII to every sweet, good person I'd like to, please excuse? Gosh gosh gosh, thanks for saying hi. I won't ramble on forever- it's been kinda rough out here, missed you folks and this place.

Also would not blame anyone for being annoyed with me for going poof, leaving without too much word. It wasn't cool of me, please know I do know that. Self-absorbed people behave poorly like that- just not very nice, bottom line, zero false humility here.

I LOVE Evie, would like to go on record as stating that she is a platinum blond, not gray haired chick, who just received a side-kick from the UK in the form of a Pisces duck, Henry Mortimer. The PTSD Battalion is growing, Friendship being the first shot across the bows of this stupid thing.

 

[Whitneys story]

Anni, I remember seeing you in the past. I am sorry you are having a hard time. Be good to yourself.

I know this is the best place on the planet! Just park that mother ship and relax a bit! Will be nice to get to know you. Whitney

 

[intothelight]

Hi Anni,

I love the idea of the tin foil hat. Lost my hair and have been thinking of creative head coverings. :rolleyes: Boy would that one really shock a few a people!! :p

Maybe something like this, only in foil....:alien:?

I think the three antenna thing adds a special touch!!

(((Hugs))) from a fellow member of the mothership!!!!

 

[amethist]

You could put sprigs of holly on it ITL, make it all Christmasy.

 

[anni]

Ok, well I KNOW I'm in the right forum when I've laughed out loud and scared the dawg.

Hi Whitney, and thanks much! Yes, it's been awful, do not quite have ITL's gift for processing so tend to get stuck at the avoidance stage. She'll look dreck between the eyes, wherupon it gets the idea it's not welcome and gets the heck outa Dallas- I just allow myself to isolate and not the greatest example for PTSD management.

It has been funny as heck, with tin-foil hats not far away. Only funny if one torques where one can allow the head to go- geesh, fortunately have an over-developed sense of humour. There's SO much genuine manipulation plus kookoo bean stuff going on like email hacking that the PTSD head just runs for extremes. I might as well start a collection of tinfoil hats, if I don't get back here. Like yesterday, the sister drover alllll the way out her, passed me on my run, eyes forward, drove past my house, turned around and drove back. ( The Wizard of Oz music which accompanies the Bad Witch plays as an over-lay, a blue Ford sufficing in lieu of the broom ). Kookoo stuff, which the PTSD head RUNS with, heck sprints with to the nearest arsenol. I was checking the mailbox for explosives ( true story, how funny is that?), and I never check the mailbox for MAIL.

I'm very glad to have been able to add to ITL's head wear, since things sound spare. You have to use name-brand foil, the generics don't hold their shape very well. Amethist, as usual, with an artist eye has improved on the original, have copious Holly outside the front door. A few Santa's dangling from the antenae, garland.... hmmm. A delight for Holiday eyes, they'll put her on the Holiday tour of homes.

Look- nothing at all funny about this stupid PTSD. If I make light of it, it's because this place brings and awful lot of Light to an otherwise dim and dreary, soul-sucking journey. By way of people- get to share the treck with caring Japanese friends, a pragmatic looking duck who appears to keep track of birthdays, a beautiful soul out there struggling to balance her tinfoil and Holly sprigs on a sparely forested head and the usual humbling collection of ((((())))) reached by merely logging in when chance rolls around. Yes, work to be done. I'm the Cavalry trooper who just made it back to the fort with assorted arrows sticking outa my back, difference being with PTSD it's up to me to reach around and get rid of the things. It's a Light-filled fort in which to begin.

Back to 'Oz', you know that Dorothy thing, 'There's no place like home?'. For a PTSD reminder, I'm at ' There are no explosives in the mailbox, There are no explosives in the mailbox, There are no explosives in the mailbox'. ITL will totally get that.

GOSH, missed you folks. Thanks for not being too annoyed with me, it's very, very kind of you.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Awww Anni, I have sincerely missed you and your posts. I can't even begin to tell you how often I think of you. I have this wonderful nativity scene I leave set up on my dresser at all times that reminds me to give thanks for friends both near and far. :) And yes, sometimes those far places are only in the mind and I am the one who has drifted far away. You are so much appreciated and it brings a warm feeling in my heart to see you back!

 

[CraftyCath]

I definitely remember you Anni and I'm sorry it has been hard lately - PTSD can be so up and down can't it?

I'm glad you are back. ((((((((:hug:'s))))))))

 

[Nighthawk]

Anni,

So beyond happy to see you around. You have been on my mind quite a bit lately. You were the sweet kind hand that helped me when needed sooo much. No words can ever thank you enough.:inlove:

((((((((Anni))))))

 

[anni]

I wish I had more time at the moment to pay attention properly, almost missed these and thank you! I also haven't been back to the diary, not sure I will yet. It's been more than crazy out here, with the Kookoo portion of things becoming completely unglued and following us everywhereeeee. Cell phones, email, Facebook- all hacked, although seriously do not care any more, believe it or not. Have at it folks, we're a little busy. I WILL say that as soon as we are able to prove chain of evidence, charges will be pressed. The attorney and T both have interests ( besides being really, really angry ) since their professional communications have been present in 2 of these formats. Like I said- it's just nuts, you can't make this stuff UP.

Dad died in May, the 19th, with my sister pretending to play Happy Families for a few days until my mother told her she did not wish her to move into the house with her. Mom wanted to move here, where we built a little apartment for her, at OURRR expense. Long story- all h*ll has broken lose, with unbelievable hostility and the prevailing lie is that we are forcing my mother to 'Buy us an apartment', somehow gouging her. Nonsense of course but necessary to put the tail and horns on us so my sister can continue to look pitiful. Fortunately, one of the first things I did as POA was to insist Mom and her attorney were the ones to deal solely with her finances-every, single check and penny, not me. They can go snipe and snip at his heels then, he does not suffer fools gladly. I have ZERO intention of allowing anyone at all a glimpse of our finances- no ones d*m business, go away. The entire thing is improper, tawdry, shabby and so low-rent I'm loathe to admit I'm related to these white-trash warmed up gold-diggers. We get these reports from the outside trickling in as to what we're being accused of, of course not to our faces.

There's more, it's sent the PTSD through the roof, off the scale, around the block and back. Of course it has and more shame to my sister who knows quite, quite well what's up with this thing- like she knows a good shock or loud voices will kill my mother and allowed her husband ( and herself ) to rage in her presence anyway. There's some calculated evil for you. Good and bad here, since managing the PTSD has been fairly successful so far, with some genuine breakthroughs.

HUGE, for instance, simply not caring if they continue to follow me here. A year ago that would have had me creeping around on the floor with a flashlight in my teeth, which would have been the GOOD reaction. Progress indeed. Too long to get into, but have to credit the forum for an awful lot of it, and some elbow grease.

 

[anni]

Hee, had to post this, since tin-foil hats representative of KooKooBeanism is a 'thing' with me. I laughed for 20 minutes, saved it, then went back and looked at it again. It's something to check in with every time I'm in danger of taking my sister and her entire crew of KooKoo Beans too seriously. Am thinking of having T-shirts made.....

 

[Whitneys story]

Anni, I would say you are doing outstanding with the circumstances! Wow what an extreme pile to deal with.

Keep yourself on top, true colors always have a way of surfacing when it involves money.

Generally in the end the only one they fool is themselves. I hope you are taking time for yourself! Hugs, Whitney

 

[anni]

That was very sweet Whitney, thanks VERY much. As ever, am always surprised when anyone takes the time to READ the wordy little piles of dreck I leave behind sometimes. You've no doubt been here long enough to know- or at least been at this whole PTSD thing long enough to know that Validation, esp in the form of plain old KIND is rock bottom, hand's down, one of the single BEST healing tools available. My proof of this is the rocketing progress I've made first through marriage to a man whose DNA is permeated with KIND, wouldn't know a PTSD tool if it bit him but accidently does allllll the right things. Bumping into this forum is the other. I'm ( for real ) too scattered and not QUITE bright enough to get on paper all the reasons it's 'worked', it just has. But- since this stupid thing tends to have left some permanant pits in the road, requires some plain old common sense to keep being able to rev up the engines, fly the heck over these instead of ending up down in them nose first.

I hope it's ok to mention someone who seems very shy, but thanks for reading I.N. Once again extremely humbling, zero false-humility, when folks one doesn't really 'know' stop in to kind of say hi in some way, keep you company in whatever form. So hi back, and sincere thank you. :)

I've quite seriously been 'better' the last few days, because of the company here and because I decided to come take this PTSD thing seriously again. I did join another forum, not a mental health one- it's a history forum- devoid of interpersonal contact mostly, at least our kind It's very nice, have been able to pursue one of my nerdy passions and will keep it up as cyber school Actually quite good for PTSD 'training' since BOY is there contention and just no choice but to step back and balance oneself, speak from facts not bile or hurt. I'll go every few days, after figuring some point or other out, or with a question for the historians there. Dad used to KNOW 'everything'- he's not there any more to fill the gaps. VERY nice people, but because of the forum intent of course just doesn't have the healing properties we have here, you know? So needed. I scared myself a few times in the last 6 months- not cool when I KNOW what's up.

Yes, you have to practice self-kindness in the care but sometimes also be VERY tough on yourself or you're just not going to be here. 'You' meaning me- a collective referrance.

I DO have a suggestion for the folks who have been acute enough mentally to do Wiki. It would be to gleen information, on your own, from members as to why THIS form of self- therapy- the forum- 'works' and do a section on this. It would be a LONG section, and no one could accuse anyone of mercenary goals since this place accepts zero commerical funding. My own would be really intertwined, cover a range of topics and take one of the geniuses to unravel.