How A Few Words Can Affect Your Thinking And Take You Back

[Dezav]

I have been sexually abused, cheated on and abandoned to name a few.

While having sex with my partner recently he said "it's amazing that after X amount of years, I still find you sexually attractive"..... knowing part some of his sexual history, despite knowing he meant what he said as a compliment, all I heard was "when I get sexually bored with you or not find you as physically attractive, I'm gone"......

Just can't get it out of my head. It has made me withdraw and that has become a vicious circle as advances invoke retreat, and cajoling words feel like pressure. Ugh!!!! :trapped:

 

[Lutahu]

I think you might be over-reacting to what sounds like an innocent comment.

I really think you need to talk to him about how you feel, otherwise this will eat away at you, and that in itself could destroy your relationship.

I actually think his comment confirms to him that you are 'the one'. Probably why his previous relationships haven't lasted, because he wasn't with the right person - he wasn't with you!!

Don't let this one comment destroy your relationship - have a chat about why it has made you feel insecure.

 

[Dezav]

Have had a chat.... I know I am over-reacting, I just can't work out why it has hit such a nerve and invoked such a reaction. It's the abandonment part more than anything I think.

Going through that stage of life to so that isn't helping with the sex drive.

 

[Emuc]

Going through that stage of life to so that isn't helping with the sex drive.

Messed up hormones could well be responsible for the negative twist your brain is placing on things.

Fear of abandonment is a tough one to overcome, because those insecurities can push away the person who loves you.

I don't whether it's a case of mind over matter, but you have to believe that if he is still with you "after X years", and still finds you sexual attractive, then you're obviously doing something right. It is a huge compliment, even if it was badly worded - but that's men for you!!

If talking with him isn't enough to quell your fears, perhaps it's something more deep-seated, that a therapist could help you with.

 

[Ufig]

Thanks