General How do I bring up sexual abuse with daughter?

[ms spock]

I hear you. I also think if we are fearful we hear them in a way that silences us? I think both have happened to me?

It's very tricky and each situation is unique.

As a society we are uncomfortable talking about it; our way of talking about it can be silencing even if it’s not our intent, because of the discomfort and fears around it .

Each and every person in this conversation is being very brave by engaging in the conversation from their particular point of view adn understanding. This is the stuff that intergenerational change is part of.

 

[ms spock]

And my comments are particular to me - and other folks have other inputs which are particular to them. Mine is right for me and their comments are right for them. My comments are really for the folks around me as a child who were complicit about what is happening for me around that stuff. It might be most counterproductive for other folks and their kids. I am pretty out there at this time. Each situation is specific for those particular young people at that particular time. It's brave to even be having this conversation. I am pretty out there at the moment a significant death so I would edit my post to be more generous and inclusive but editing time is finished. So sorry about that. There's no need to have more distress around this stuff than there already is.

 

[hithere]

^Was this because the problem was not raised when she was young and something could have been done about it?

In our case the problem was raised with good qualified caring professionals at the time. What is interesting and VandeKolk talks about the phenomenon in his book about children who have even testified in court and went thru treatment as children did not recall the abuse later in life or the trial or the treatment as adults...

If they are coping as adults it may feel invasive and a boundary breech to bring it up out of the blue is my opinion.