What a very long winded story I'm about to tell you. I will skim on the details
My exboyfriend and I met when I was 20, he is 14 years older than me with 3 children. We Love each other dearly and lived together for 4 years. He was diagnosed with PTSD in june last year but I knew in early 2008, it just took 2 years to convince him to seek help and he has only in the last 2 months been willing to try medication. He has PTSD from service which was exacerbated by his exwifes infidelity.
In 2007 he bagan a 9 month affair with one girl, we didnt instantly break up but I struggled to get over it and he had one more night with her and we broke up for a short time, during which time he signed up to all sorts of porn, dating and casual sex sites. When we got back together he never disconected the sites but did not access them until we were happily settled again, had a couple of brain melt downs and sent 1 girl roses and another he began texting a bit. Finally in may last year we were very settled and happy and in a routine, I noticed he began to become secretive about his phone and quized him on it, then he tells me he wants to break up, but he still wants to live with me, he admited that he met another woman and wanted to pursue her, this came right out of the blue as we were getting along really well. We lived together for another 5 months and his relationship with her was odd from the start, she really pursued him and harassed him even though she knew he was taken.
It was always strange how he only ever began looking elsewhere when we were comfortable. He has always been more sketchy when we were comfortable, I put it down to PTSD as one of his sayings was always "dont keep anything get close to you, it only gives the enemy amunition or something to use against you"
The whole time we were living together we just carried on as normal but he slept in a different bed most nights, unless his nightmares was bad (I was always able to calm him down) When he moved to her place his nightmare have gone balistic, he has called me on numerous occasions to say that he has made the biggest mistake of his life and he is sorry. Sometimes he says he wants me back, sometimes he says he loves me dearly but wants me to be free, but always that I am the only person who has ever understood him and he is sorry for what he has become.
The girlfriend does not support him in anyway and tells me and his exwife how rubbish he is. (I get along quite well with the ex wife) His new GF does not assist with reminding him about medication, discouraging his impulse buying when he is really anxious (this only makes him more stressed in the long run), or generally do anything to reduce his stress levels. She has done a number of things that bother me and has been quite nasty and violent towards him. I really strongly feel that the new girlfriend is very volatile and has her own mental health issues due to a number of situations i have found myself in with her.
Can anyone answer any of these questions for me;
Can PTSD impact upon someones ability to maintain a relationship?
Can PTSD make it difficult for a person to control sexual urges (he was always highly aroused)?
Can PTSD seriously cloud your judgement?
Should i still be supporting this man with his treatment?
Can PTSD related infidelity ever be managed?
Should i just run for the hills?
Please let me know if you need more information I will happily update my comment
My exboyfriend and I met when I was 20, he is 14 years older than me with 3 children. We Love each other dearly and lived together for 4 years. He was diagnosed with PTSD in june last year but I knew in early 2008, it just took 2 years to convince him to seek help and he has only in the last 2 months been willing to try medication. He has PTSD from service which was exacerbated by his exwifes infidelity.
In 2007 he bagan a 9 month affair with one girl, we didnt instantly break up but I struggled to get over it and he had one more night with her and we broke up for a short time, during which time he signed up to all sorts of porn, dating and casual sex sites. When we got back together he never disconected the sites but did not access them until we were happily settled again, had a couple of brain melt downs and sent 1 girl roses and another he began texting a bit. Finally in may last year we were very settled and happy and in a routine, I noticed he began to become secretive about his phone and quized him on it, then he tells me he wants to break up, but he still wants to live with me, he admited that he met another woman and wanted to pursue her, this came right out of the blue as we were getting along really well. We lived together for another 5 months and his relationship with her was odd from the start, she really pursued him and harassed him even though she knew he was taken.
It was always strange how he only ever began looking elsewhere when we were comfortable. He has always been more sketchy when we were comfortable, I put it down to PTSD as one of his sayings was always "dont keep anything get close to you, it only gives the enemy amunition or something to use against you"
The whole time we were living together we just carried on as normal but he slept in a different bed most nights, unless his nightmares was bad (I was always able to calm him down) When he moved to her place his nightmare have gone balistic, he has called me on numerous occasions to say that he has made the biggest mistake of his life and he is sorry. Sometimes he says he wants me back, sometimes he says he loves me dearly but wants me to be free, but always that I am the only person who has ever understood him and he is sorry for what he has become.
The girlfriend does not support him in anyway and tells me and his exwife how rubbish he is. (I get along quite well with the ex wife) His new GF does not assist with reminding him about medication, discouraging his impulse buying when he is really anxious (this only makes him more stressed in the long run), or generally do anything to reduce his stress levels. She has done a number of things that bother me and has been quite nasty and violent towards him. I really strongly feel that the new girlfriend is very volatile and has her own mental health issues due to a number of situations i have found myself in with her.
Can anyone answer any of these questions for me;
Can PTSD impact upon someones ability to maintain a relationship?
Can PTSD make it difficult for a person to control sexual urges (he was always highly aroused)?
Can PTSD seriously cloud your judgement?
Should i still be supporting this man with his treatment?
Can PTSD related infidelity ever be managed?
Should i just run for the hills?
Please let me know if you need more information I will happily update my comment
