How Do You Cope While Everything Bubbles To Surface?

[Cool Cat]

My 'warning bell' for getting help was how I was SHing a lot.
It wasn't really until I went to therapy that I realised that I was dealing with trauma, and that a lot of stuff in my childhood wasn't acceptable.
Anyways, I always suppressed everything.
Now I am getting flashbacks and I am so out of sorts at the minute. It is great to be finally talking and processing things, but it is putting my mind and body under serious stress. I'm just over a chest infection which I think was brought on by stress and even the simplest things are impossible for me at the minute.
All I had to eat yesterday was a bowl of Special K and a burrito. I'm self harming again too.

I don't know quite how to describe all this. It's basically I'm finally not suppressing memories but they're all coming up at once and I can't deal with them.

What works/worked for you? Any ideas?

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I don't have magic answers, but I can relate. I am laying in bed, taking the day off from work while I write this. This is one way that I can take care of myself. The best I can say is to be gentle with yourself and have plans in place. I have trouble eating right now so I try to give myself permission to eat whatever I want. I figure food is better than no food (I eat chocolate for breakfast, but I eat a healthier lunch). I also try to be as kind to myself as I can after really hard sessions. I spent time in my pajamas, I take hot showers, I run, I read, I hide out in my office and spend time alone, I write, I bake...whatever will make me feel better. It is possible to overwhelm yourself with too many memories coming too fast, but I don't have a magic answer on how to slow them down. I have been balancing being a mom, a wife, and working full time so for me it is important to take "me" time whenever I can get it. I hope you can figure out what will work best for you.

 

[Seasounds]

What has helped me:

• Mindfulness exercises--good for calming and good for finding a spiritual center that is deeper than the traumas.
• Physical activities that, by the mere requirement of needing all of my focus, pull me into the present.
• Medications, at first I was strongly adverse to them, fearing I would not have access to my memories and emotions, to do process and healing work. Now I have found that an SSRI (antidepressant), at the right dose, allows me access to memories and emotions, while decreasing my 'overwhelm' factor. And I do use very small amounts of anti-anxiety medications, Clonazepam and Lorazepam) to avoid getting overwhelmed with anxiety, from either 'my internal memories' or 'external triggering experiences' (people yelling, etc.) in everyday life.
• In being aware that the people we hang out with, can indirectly help stabilize us, I've joined a community choir.
• Going to therapy, twice a week, instead of once a week, helps me not feel so overwhelmed.
• 12 Alanon group provides a calming atmosphere.

 

[Suzetig]

It's difficult, one of my biggest fears in opening up in therapy has been the thought of ending up overwhelmed by thoughts, feelings and memories. I need to to be able to function day to day and already had a period of being unable to cope around this time last year. I found that meticulous self care helped me when I was feeling overwhelmed. For me that means routines around food, bathing etc, journalling to get stuff out of my head, planned "fun" even if that was just reading a boom for pleasure.

I've also got a very good therapist who works completely at my pace. I struggled at first to know how to open something up without it taking over but I'm getting better at that now. My therapist will also put the brakes on at times. As she says, I'm chipping away at it slowly. It means our sessions can be a bit disjointed, not one thing following another but I'm now working at a fairly deep level with her and able to keep myself on an even keel between sessions.

 

[Cool Cat]

I find it odd though that I don't realise I had a 'hard' or 'difficult' session until I wake up the next day.
I will be going twice this week, but thats only because he cant see me next week. I would love to go twice a week, a week is too long to hold off and continue work; I might be wrong.

I found that meticulous self care helped me when I was feeling overwhelmed. For me that means routines around food, bathing etc, journalling to get stuff out of my head, planned "fun" even if that was just reading a boom for pleasure.

That's a good idea.

I know this is all part of the process but I am worried about it though because I want to keep myself safe. Like if I'm getting into cutting again I am putting myself at risk.

 

[Seasounds]

I use my 'self-harming' thoughts or actions to help me know I need more support, at this time, rather than working on old memories. Take good care, with your self-care.

 

[Island girl]

Some of the things I do - Be kind to yourself. Start small. Making lists and goal setting (even if the only goal for the day is to make a meal/go to the shop). Setting alarms for medication & meal times if necessary. Putting positive messages on the walls (toilet, kitchen walls etc.) Reminders that some days it can be two steps forward a one step back, but tomorrow is another day, using a journal, art (drawing/painting), going back to nature (fishing), participation in music/theatre groups.

During a session one day, I expressed a desire to play music, as I had played music as a child. The Psychologist strongly recommended and encouraged me to start playing again. The reasons why:-

• Music is great therapy
• Music is mental gymnastics for the brain
• Playing music aids in relaxation, can be meditative, soothing & is a great outlet and source of comfort
• Music is one of the few skills that requires multiple areas of the brain to be used simultaneously - reading, aural (listening skills) muscle movement, co-ordination, memorisation
• Music can make a person physically tired
• Music can be uplifting and elevate mood and decrease anxiety and pain
• Music makes a person focused - more present in the now
• Music makes a person more aware of their own body and muscle movement
• Music enables emotions to be conveyed - playing minor keys = sad, playing major keys = happy
• Music allows for creativity - writing and producing own music or read printed music
• Music can be adapted to suit personal styles - rock, classical, jazz
• Music improves memory
• Music is drug free and has no serious side effects
• Music lessons don't interfere with Psychologists/Psychiatrist sessions
• Music requires no physical contact
• Disabilities in music can be catered for - with a wide range of musical equipment available to suit everyone
• Musical equipment is available to suit a wide range of budgets (Voice - the cheapest and first instrument most humans are born with)
• Musical equipment such as digital piano/keyboards can be played with headphones at any hour without disturbing neighbours
• Musical instruments can be created from scrap and waste materials
• Music increases self esteem and confidence
• Music can be played for leisure
• Music graded exams (A.M.E.B., Trinity College, A.B.R.S.M., ANZCA etc.) can be done for a sense of achievement/qualifications
• Music can be learnt at any age
• Music can be played alone or in groups
• Music lessons are scheduled and timed - often 30 minute sessions
• Music lessons can be gradually increased/decreased or stopped immediately with no harm
• Some music teachers will do home visits or have private home studios - (feeling of a safer environment)
• Some teachers have specialist skills in Music Therapy
• Participation in music can be gradually increased - one on one lessons, duets, trios, quartets, orchestras/concert bands/choirs
• Music allows for social interaction/limited social contact (most band members chat for 3 minutes, play 2 hours, then chat for 3 minutes, then go home)
• Playing in a band/group is a way of giving back and participating in the community - Everyone loves music
• Music groups/choirs provides positive healthier social activities, not centred around alcohol and drugs

And last but not least - Music is cheaper than the Psychology and Psychiatrist appointments

Music has been the best way for me to cope with my PTSD, but everyone is different and there is no one size fits all when it comes to PTSD

Good luck and best wishes in finding your way xx