How Does Your T Support You?

[Deleted member 34328]

What does the email exchange usually look like? Mine often asks me to email her. I do, once or twice a...

I'm thinking yes. I get the riot act when something goes badly and I don't get in touch. I assume he's busy with others and I don't want to intrude.

Besides, your therapist has the right to decide when and how she responds to emails. Her choice to make.

 

[FindingMyself88]

So I am going to share things that both my current and my last T did/do for me that I find very helpful. I do 100% agree with @Friday about sharing what you wrote. Some of our most productive sessions have been when I took in something I wrote down but couldn't say. So she reads it and helps me deal with it.

So with my last T she was very maternal but in a professional way.The organization I saw her/see my new T through has 3 houses side by side. Her office was in the middle house that was more of a conference house- she was the only T in it. Whenever they would be having meetings during our session, she always walked beside me, between me and the group. We also always took short walks around the block after difficult sessions to make sure I was not dissociated. She also made me able to laugh at myself.

It was an incredible loss to loose her and for a long time I didn't think I would ever trust my current T. But its been over a year now and I can say that my current T is really helping me in ways my last one didn't. First off she is very resourceful and is willing to do work to help me get what I need. To me that shows she cares. She also asks the difficult questions that make me uncomfortable but help me get to the root of my issues. Thursday was one of the sessions I described above where i took something written in. I shared with her something I have never shared with anyone else. I was so ashamed I couldn't look her in the eye. She then shared with me that she was a survivor of a very similar trauma that was the root of my shame (I have C-PTSD from multiple types of trauma). She said she hoped by sharing that it helped me to feel more comfortable and to know there was certainly no judgement from her. To me, that showed me just how much she cared to share a vulnerable piece of herself.

 

[NightSky]

So I am going to share things that both my current and my last T did/do for me that I find very...

I like those things. My T has also given me pieces of her story that are very similar to mine and that has made me feel understood and able to say more than I would otherwise.

I did talk to her about what I wrote here. I think we got to the crux of the issue which is that I can't feel supported when I'm not vulnerable and I'm not vulnerable (I'm always on guard and smile and laugh when I should be crying) because I'm afraid of feelings. I don't know how to fix it but at least I'm getting to the bottom of some things.

 

[FindingMyself88]

@NightSky I completely understand the part about not being able to be vulnerable. Crying isn't safe for me. I too have a hard time feeling my feelings. It's why I'm struggling so badly right now. Because I'm being forced to feel them.

All I can say on that is trust the process and try to keep bringing this stuff up to your T.