How to ask them to stay

[LuckiLee]

J and I have been together 5 years and 4 of those years he has been in treatment. So I have been with him through all of his healing. We are learning together.

Even with the knowledge I have (symptoms, triggers, stressors, moods, anniversary dates etc.) PTSD is a complete bit*h sometimes. Believe me I do all I can to keep stress away from my guy. And still suffer the wrath of his anger occasionally. All I can do is leave the room/house in those moments.

Your post is very informative for me. Thanks for sharing your feelings!

 

[Buttercup]

I agree whole heartedly with leehalf. Thank you so much for sharing @Derek Des

 

[Buttercup]

I want to add here if it hasn't already been said, just ask her. Just be honest with her and be vulnerable if you can be. Tell her you would love for her to be by your side though this if she is able. And if she is unable, you understand.

And let her know you are aware of how damaging your behavior has been to your relationship, but that is not how you want to be and you want to do the most you can do to be the person you want to be. But there will be times when you won't be your best self and you hope she understands.

I'm putting words in your mouth but I can tell you they are words i would totally love to hear. Also words you have said here and if you said them here, maybe she should hear them, if you haven't already told her.

 

[Louski]

I want to add here if it hasn't already been said, just ask her. Just be honest with her and be vulne...

I wish there was a love button on here @Buttercup! @Derek Des your posts really show so much compassion and care from you. It gives me a lot of hope because I know my fiancé is similar and I wish he could read your posts. Thank you again.

 

[DarkOne35]

Hey guys,
I'm new here. Iraq veteran. Marine Corps 5 years. 2 deployments.
Struggled emotionally sin...

Do you have a Government job? If not, then I would recommend Medical Cannabis either from the black market or by referral if you live in a legal state. It would really help a lot. And if you are worried about THC content, you can take CBD oil.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Derek, I found that couples counselling helped in my relationship. Not only did it give my partner insight into what I was struggling with, but it helped him to understand how to respect my boundaries after I'd been triggered. That gave me the space I needed to learn some strategies to avoid going berserker on him. Now, when he does something to trigger me, I'm able to tell him that I need some space until I'm ready to talk.

And I do agree, it's not our partner's responsibility to avoid triggering us, but when we are just beginning our recovery and not yet able to find our safe space, they can make an effort to understand our triggers and work with us to communicate in ways that don't cause us to feel threatened.