How To Convince My Other Part She Isnt Hated?

[lostforgottensoul]

The difference is in the way that we communicate that message.

They have now 4 days to figure out a way to move without driving. It is critical that they don't drive, in my opinion, for their life and others. Thus the replies show the critical-ness of the situation. I wouldn't want anyone to sugar coat replies so that I don't get upset. The straight foward-ness of most on this site is one thing I really like about it. It may hurt to hear the truth but the truth nonetheless.

@Unsure, there are other options to move both cars and stuff and both you and your boyfriend without you driving. What makes big things like this a bit easier is to break it down to smaller pieces, knowing for each piece that you cannot drive.

So like getting the car there. A friend? A family member? A toe hitch? Drive car one then have a friend/family member take boyfriend back for car 2? Sell car 2 since, at the moment, you can't drive saftely in general? Store it at a friend's or family member's house?

There are other options than you driving. I'd sit and see if you can write them all down and then make calls to friends and family members to see if they can help/store car on short notice. Call to find out how much it is to rent a tow hitch and if your car can have a tow hitch put on and how. A quick google/youtube search of "[car make and model] tow hitch". U-Haul rents them. Both front wheels down and front wheels up. Front wheels spinning increases milage.

There is always other ways to get to the same end goal. You need to do everything you can to keep yourself (and others) safe. I know you want that or you wouldn't be asking for help but the bitter truth is, being this worried tells me that you don't trust yourself behind the wheel therefore you should not be behind the wheel. Until, with therapy, this alter no longer want you dead.

ETA: @Unsure, can you feel that you are about to switch alters and if so, how much of a warning would you get before the switch? Or does it just happen, later realizing what happened?

 

[BlueOrange]

I'm not sure what makes it ok for you to tell other people how to post or how another member might read or experience posts on the thread.

In the context of these forums, I do not have any authority to tell people how to post. I did request. I made a genuine effort to make sure that my request was not perceived as exercising an authority which I do not have, and that it was a request.

I'm going to try to take my own advice, work out what I'm about, and take it to another thread.

 

[Ronin]

How do I convince her she is safe?

You know what makes you safe.

What makes other you / her safe, though?

The good convincing point would be starting with an understanding from her / different age & mindset you's, viewpoint.

Understand what was the risks then, what complexness makes them linger bad into now, and then start on reframing what is current and how and moving away from it, in my experience.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Unsure, do you mind giving an update as it is past the timeframe you orginally gave. Worried as you haven't written back in a while...or anywhere else since. Just wanted to make sure you were ok.

 

[whiteraven]

Understanding I am coming late to this thread and that it is past the OP's time frame to get moved, I would like to jump in and offer a few thoughts, if I may. I have not been on this forum long and am a little confused by the tones used here, so I'm just going to say what I came to say and hope it is ok.

@Unsure First of all, I am very hopeful that you are safe right now. I have DID, diagnosed many years ago, and have upwards of 25 or so "parts," or insiders as I call them and a couple who are downright nasty. One in particular, though, has been a huge problem for us since I learned I was many. She screams at me, calls me names, cuts me, has tried to crash our car, sabotaged a relationship with my boyfriend, tried to kill another insider by drowning her (inside), and a whole host of other things. I have tried, multiple times, on my own and with a couple of different therapists, to help her understand that she is a part of our family and she is now safe.

The only thing that ever helped keep us safe from her during her worst times was a technique one of my therapists used to secure her in a safe place inside until we could work with her at a time of our choosing. Until we did that, we never felt safe from her, despite all the talk.

Now, I have other insiders who are mouthy. I have one who is a protector who used to cut but after a lot of work, she is now our greatest ally. She still calls me names and she's still angry and gruff, but she would never hurt us. That first one, though - I have to be careful of her. I have plans in place if she gets out of control. She simply is not able to hear that she is safe. Not now, anyway.

If you have a suicidal or homicidal alter, you really do have to consider the fact that you might not be safe on the road. You could, actually, lose control, even if that's something you've never done before. And there may be nothing you can do, without professional help, to change the way this alter behaves in the short time you have to do so. I'm saying that, because I do think you've thought about and want to avert the danger, but I also think you don't quite understand the degree of responsibility we all have when we are put in this situation.

You got lots of good and workable suggestions for getting to your destination in a safe way; I hope you were able to use one of them. Please let us know how you are.

 

[shimmerz]

The only thing that ever helped keep us safe from her during her worst times was a technique one of my therapists used to secure her in a safe place inside until we could work with her at a time of our choosing. Until we did that, we never felt safe from her, despite all the talk.

Smart. Very smart.