Hi, to get to my question I have to talk abit about my trauma first. I hope my writing will stay understandable because this is very emotional for me. I have ptsd from medical issues and procedures from my early childhood, until my 20th birthday. I was born with a genetic disease which causes me orthopaedic issues and had a lot of surgery’s as a young child. A lot of my childhood I spent in hospitals and around doctors’ offices. I had to handle pain and fear of death very early in my life. My partens weren’t a help either, but this is another story. Things got really worse when I was 15. It should have been my last surgery, but the doctors made a few mistakes. I was in enormous pain for month, nearly lost my leg, had unplanned surgery’s again and again to fix what went wrong. In the last surgery I lost so much blood that my heart stopped beating, I was lucky to survive. And all of this to get out of it worse than before. The mistakes they made were unfixable, and I am not longer able to walk more than half a kilometre without pain. I loved dancing and jogging before my 15th birthday. My knee, spine and foot are damaged. Hospitals, are horror for me. And I have massive trust issues about everyone around it. I wasn’t able to go to the doctor for years, until I found my current family doctor. I don’t know if this is the right word, we call it ‘Hausarzt’ in Germany, which would be house doctor. He is very gentle with me, knows and understand my story. But half a year ago I was diagnosed with MS. I had to go into hospital again, because I wasn’t able to see clear when I woke up one morning. It was so terrifying! I had to stay there for over a week and went through a lot of tests and medication. With this new diagnosis I know I am forced to have doctor’s visits often and regularly. There is no way I can avoid it. And hospital stays are a belike possibility. I don’t know how to handle it! All these things are major triggers for me and in my near future, my next MRI is at the beginning of June. My neurologist is very understanding, even everyone in hospital was really careful, but it leads into retraumatization anyway. I am having nightmares for over six months now, a lot of flashbacks and intrusive memories, and I am really struggling with dissociative symptoms…it feels like someone turned the clock back to step one. Does anyone have a similar situation? How do you deal with events you know are triggering? How to get through this? I am really afraid how my life should go on, with all these constant triggers. I am thankful for any advice!