S
Sam Flemish
Hello,
I've posted about this before. But I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what to tell people. Whenever I get a bad flashback or truama memory image going in my head I get really nauseous and within a few minutes I start throwing up. Sometimes I have time to run to a bathroom or away from people sometimes I don't have time. It's happening everyday. I've thrown up in countless ziplock bags on public transport. And in bushes off the side walk. Ran out of class, or whatever conversation I'm in. It's really embarrassing. Which doesn't help my anxiety/panic. Especially when people are watching me. It's fine when I'm at home or in therapy. Because my therapist is used to me puking in her office. ( having to catch it in her trash a couple times during a prolonged exsposure session.) And if I'm home my parents are clueless. And if they hear me or find me retching there my parents and they'll do the parent stuff (Yes I'm hiding the number of times a day I get sick from ptsd from them. I'm 20 and it's just easier for them not to know)
Anywho the reason I'm writing this is, on Monday I went to class for the first time in a week. And when I walked in
my professor made a big deal about me coming back. Little did she know I'd just puked for the third time that day in the ladies room. Long story short I had a disassociation episode got noticeably upset, then noticeably about to be sick look on my face. And ran out (it's a small class about 15 students) was gone for twenty to thirty minutes.sitting on the disgusting bathroom floor crying and puking to weak to stand up. Went back to class to get my stuff very pale and sweaty. Grabbed my things and wrote a note to the girl sitting next to me to tell the professor I had to leave for a family medical emergency. Then when I left the building I threw up again behind a tree a few feet from the door.
The whole thing was really embarrassing and I'm really scared about what to tell people if they ask. Just like say oh yeah sorry I have PTSD from witnessing tramatic death of my grandfather and I'm starting to see his dead body in my head. And I was repeatedly ill because of it? I don't want to scare people away. And that's if I can make it through class without puking. Oh gosh I'm working myself up again.
If anyone has advice I'd really appreciate it. God bless
I've posted about this before. But I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what to tell people. Whenever I get a bad flashback or truama memory image going in my head I get really nauseous and within a few minutes I start throwing up. Sometimes I have time to run to a bathroom or away from people sometimes I don't have time. It's happening everyday. I've thrown up in countless ziplock bags on public transport. And in bushes off the side walk. Ran out of class, or whatever conversation I'm in. It's really embarrassing. Which doesn't help my anxiety/panic. Especially when people are watching me. It's fine when I'm at home or in therapy. Because my therapist is used to me puking in her office. ( having to catch it in her trash a couple times during a prolonged exsposure session.) And if I'm home my parents are clueless. And if they hear me or find me retching there my parents and they'll do the parent stuff (Yes I'm hiding the number of times a day I get sick from ptsd from them. I'm 20 and it's just easier for them not to know)
Anywho the reason I'm writing this is, on Monday I went to class for the first time in a week. And when I walked in
my professor made a big deal about me coming back. Little did she know I'd just puked for the third time that day in the ladies room. Long story short I had a disassociation episode got noticeably upset, then noticeably about to be sick look on my face. And ran out (it's a small class about 15 students) was gone for twenty to thirty minutes.sitting on the disgusting bathroom floor crying and puking to weak to stand up. Went back to class to get my stuff very pale and sweaty. Grabbed my things and wrote a note to the girl sitting next to me to tell the professor I had to leave for a family medical emergency. Then when I left the building I threw up again behind a tree a few feet from the door.
The whole thing was really embarrassing and I'm really scared about what to tell people if they ask. Just like say oh yeah sorry I have PTSD from witnessing tramatic death of my grandfather and I'm starting to see his dead body in my head. And I was repeatedly ill because of it? I don't want to scare people away. And that's if I can make it through class without puking. Oh gosh I'm working myself up again.
If anyone has advice I'd really appreciate it. God bless
