How To Stop Trying To Fix

[mamachick]

We can't change anyone else but often hope they will make changes. This often creates huge disappointments. I have been asking my husband for financial documents for nearly 3 yrs and he has stalled. Now I am filing for divorce and he will have to produce them for the court, only then will I know what I have to live on in the future. This is typical of him and stupid of me to think that he is actually going to change his behavior. Just an example.

 

[CDKLaw]

How do you let go of the need to fix things, fix people?

There are several complicated relationships...

I totally relate to this. It really annoys my wife how I can't stop picking away.

 

[mamachick]

Ironically, I can't change him and I know it, I can't get him to do anything I wish for, but he honestly believes that I make him angry and its my fault that he attacked me to get my phone from me on Friday night. UMMM

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you for this thread because I too struggle with this but the fact remains is the only person I can change is me.

I listened to all here and learned a lot in my own situation where one person is not in treatment and recovery. The only person I can fix is me and the temptation to reach out and try again is a exercise in futility for me.

It is like Charlie Brown being conned into trying to hold the ball for Lucy one more time and she gets him again and again.