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Sufferer I’m scared

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I think you mean ruminating, rather than reflecting. There is, inevitably, a place for reflecting on our past when we have ptsd on board.
Thank you. Reflection is certainly helpful as it is a form of processing when dealing with trauma. Unfortunately, many of us with trauma may spend many years reflecting. There comes a time when we have to stop reflecting and move on for the following reasons: If not careful, excessive reflection can turn into rumination which is negative and destructive. This can then lead to additional faulty thinking which can turn into obsessive compulsive thoughts and then eventually cause intrusive thoughts. As a result, this creates additional problems that may include depression, isolation, eating disorders and a number of other issues. This slows down the recovery process. I share this information based upon research and my own issues.

A number of people in therapy or not, reflect on their trauma to the point where they relive the experience(s) over and over and over again. This only gives the trauma more negative thinking power which furthers delays the healing process.
 
hello all alone. welcome to the forum from another female vet. i carried my ptsd into the army with me, but being a vet with a non-traditional career adds an extra dimension to the ptsd experience. my shrinks called that extra dimension, "the imposter syndrome." does my gender allow me to be a vet and construction boss? does being a vet and construction boss allow me to be a good mommy and wife? where, exactly, do i belong?

don't accuse me of experting, but for sure the dichotomies mess with the head.

dunno if that applies to your case, or not. i mostly wanted to welcome you aboard.
I struggled to come to terms of my diagnosis for ages and it simply felt like I couldn’t possibly have it since I am a female and not an infantry soldier, I was a combat medic, I still find it hard to speak t
hello all alone. welcome to the forum from another female vet. i carried my ptsd into the army with me, but being a vet with a non-traditional career adds an extra dimension to the ptsd experience. my shrinks called that extra dimension, "the imposter syndrome." does my gender allow me to be a vet and construction boss? does being a vet and construction boss allow me to be a good mommy and wife? where, exactly, do i belong?

don't accuse me of experting, but for sure the dichotomies mess with the head.

dunno if that applies to your case, or not. i mostly wanted to welcome you aboard.

Definitely applies and I still struggle to come to terms with it, I get scared speaking to any other soldier (mainly men) and admitting I have ptsd because I think they’ve had it harder then me, i was a combat medic (British army) and I still think I’m weak and that it not real and I’ve made all this up! I feel like a fraud a lot of the times.
 
Thank you. Reflection is certainly helpful as it is a form of processing when dealing with trauma. Unfortunately, many of us with trauma may spend many years reflecting. There comes a time when we have to stop reflecting and move on for the following reasons: If not careful, excessive reflection can turn into rumination which is negative and destructive. This can then lead to additional faulty thinking which can turn into obsessive compulsive thoughts and then eventually cause intrusive thoughts. As a result, this creates additional problems that may include depression, isolation, eating disorders and a number of other issues. This slows down the recovery process. I share this information based upon research and my own issues.

A number of people in therapy or not, reflect on their trauma to the point where they relive the experience(s) over and over and over again. This only gives the trauma more negative thinking power which furthers delays the healing process.
I understand by what you mean and I completely agree with you for my situation, I’ve been reflecting on the past for a decade now and it not helped me move forward. I need to start looking forward now and trying to open myself to real positive emotions and connections with people and it my challenge for this year! (I like to set goals 🙃)
 
it simply felt like I couldn’t possibly have it since I am a female and not an infantry soldier, I was a combat medic,

it was 1973 when i carried my ptsd into the army with me. i went for the posh signal corps duty. that computer training is serving me to this day. i started my formal therapy in the base infirmaries in 1974. combat ptsd was still being called "shell shock" and still 20 odd years away from morphing into ptsd. my very first regular therapist was a "dead duck shrink" (his name for himself) who had served 3 tours of duty in the viet nam M*A*S*H units. he was waiting to finish his current tour in west germany with no plans to reenlist. he was fighting furiously (and colorfully) with DOD over a theory he was calling, "civilian shell shock." he wanted to know how the lack of combat training and support made combat trauma less traumatic for civilians. i am a child sex trafficking survivor. he declared me to be "a victim of the other undeclared war on the u.s. city streets" and put me into his shell shock therapy group. magic happened, despite the fact that females were not yet allowed on fields of combat.

trauma is far from MOS specific. yours counts. speak up. for what it's worth, my army psychotherapy segwayed into the VA after my discharge. the bureaucracy is meaner than DOD, but the therapy i received there was top shelf once i got past the paper shuffle.
 
I struggled to come to terms of my diagnosis for ages and it simply felt like I couldn’t possibly have it since I am a female and not an infantry soldier, I was a combat medic, I still find it hard to speak t
hmmmm... if you are saying that infantry has a tougher job than a combat medic then wow -- nope.
combat medics have incredibly tough, traumatic jobs where peoples lives are quite literally in their hands.
One mistake and your patient dies. Plus you are doing it during combat!

Being exposed to death and near death is the #1 criteria.
Combat medics are constantly exposed to both -- their lives and their patients lives in danger.
So comparing yourself, or what you did, as some how less?
Nope.

trauma is far from MOS specific. yours counts. speak up. for what it's worth, my army psychotherapy segwayed into the VA after my discharge. the bureaucracy is meaner than DOD, but the therapy i received there was top shelf once i got past the paper shuffle.
Yep -- and they now have female centered and MST programs. Getting my disability approved was a shit show, but getting my T was relatively easy.
 
I struggled to come to terms of my diagnosis for ages and it simply felt like I couldn’t possibly have it since I am a female and not an infantry soldier, I was a combat medic, I still find it hard to speak t
hmmmm... if you are saying that infantry has a tougher job than a combat medic then wow -- nope.
combat medics have incredibly tough, traumatic jobs where peoples lives are quite literally in their hands.
One mistake and your patient dies. Plus you are doing it during combat!

Being exposed to death and near death is the #1 criteria.
Combat medics are constantly exposed to both -- their lives and their patients lives in danger.
So comparing yourself, or what you did, as some how less?
Nope.

trauma is far from MOS specific. yours counts. speak up. for what it's worth, my army psychotherapy segwayed into the VA after my discharge. the bureaucracy is meaner than DOD, but the therapy i received there was top shelf once i got past the paper shuffle.
Yep -- and they now have female centered and MST programs. Getting my disability approved was a shit show, but getting my T was relatively easy.
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and correcting a mistaken belief about the nature of different military roles. As you mentioned, trauma is not specific to a particular job or experience and it's important to recognize and acknowledge the impact it has on our lives. It's also helpful to know that there are resources available, such as VA programs and support communities like this one. Your input adds valuable insight and support to this conversation.
 
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